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Help diagnosing my boyfriend



New member
Dec 30, 2014
Hi I am in love with my partner very much and I have come here in hope to understand a bit more about what mental condition he may have. He is an addict late 20s has been addicted to alcohol and drugs but has been clean for a very long time 7-8 years, he is very insecure and paranoid. He always thinks I'm cheating on him and I'd never do that he makes scenarios up in his head and has expressed a few times he doesn't listen to his thoughts anymore but sometimes they get the better of him. He is extremely clued up and creative. He has these weird shots of energy he calls them buzzes and he says his thoughts go a million miles an hour firing loads of thoughts through his mind and he is happy and laughing through these making weird sounds and sound effects. He can switch quickly and sometimes when he's talking he gets very mellow and placid asif he is talking in his sleep then a few minutes later he'll be normal again. He also switches not in a good way, we can be playing with each other verbally as a joke and all of a sudden out of nowhere he'll take it seriously within a second and ask why I said what I said even if he said something like that to me before I said it then he gets angry, and silent then apologises after I while, he changes a lot and hasn't got much self esteem but sometimes he is and he's confident and so playful. Does anyone recognise any of these symptoms in behaviour?


Well-known member
Dec 4, 2013
I really don't know, although I can definitely see why his behaviour would lead you to think there were some kind of mental illness present. Sorry you're struggling with this. It sounds like you have a positive relationship in many respects though which is really positive. :)

Have you spoken to your boyfriend about seeing a doctor regarding his feelings and behaviour? That'd be the hardest but most helpful thing you could probably do.


I agree with jruth (above)....his behaviour does sound slightly bizarre and I can see why you are looking for an explanation.

Mental health may or may not be the answer....previous drug use may or may not be related. It may be hard to tell!

I think that, as Jruth says, the hardest thing will be raising the question of why he needs to talk his behaviour over with a doctor. People can be resistant to this, or fail to see that their behaviour is unusual.

You may have to choose your time and words carefully.

Please protect yourself and take things very gently. Jealous and paranoid people can become suspicious and feel judged. This can lead to defensive behaviour ....

It can be hard to help people sometimes. Does he have any inkling that his behaviour is problematic?

That would make the ideal starting point for a conversation perhaps.


Well-known member
Oct 5, 2014
Im not sure anyone here is qualified to make a diagnosis of any mental health condition he may have, and unless we are proffessionals, we are no better than upity undergaduate psychology students to throw around diagnosis left right and centre over trivial things that may have no bearing. That said, from some experience, I will share some things

The energy levels may be manic depression or an anxiety buzz, I get those and my thoughts when my anxiety was bad turned to paranoid type behaviour, but some things here like the sudden snapping dont correlate, but those things can effect different people in different ways.

Id advise you talk to a specialist and take him with you if you can get him to realize he is in need of or wants help. Pretty sure nobody here has the qualifications to make a diagnosis at this point.


Well-known member
May 4, 2009
It's true none of us can give a diagnosis. But I'd also say, it's important to realise that you cannot really ever help another person, not in the way you would possibly like. You can support a person to help themselves, but that's all. It has to be his decision to go to therapy or to a specialist and it has to be him who is motivated to do this because he wants to change. If that's what he wants, you can be supportive of him. If that's not what he wants then you will need to review whether you are happy for him to stay the way he is or if you need to leave the relationship.

Good luck, I hope everything goes well.
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