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Help! Crazy People

A

aussiebong

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
6
Well, here goes... I live with a step-sister who apparently has bipolar disorder according to her mother. She is 23 and I am 26. She never leaves the house, doesn't have a job, doesn't really do anything except sit on the internet all night long and then sleep during the day. I am really afraid for what is going to happen when our parents pass away (they are not in good health). Right now she is being supported by them, but I don't know where she will end up if they pass away. I should also throw out the fact that she seems to hate me for no reason - she hasn't spoken a word to me (not a single word) since about a year ago. It is kind of fucked and really messes with your head when someone won't speak a word to you who is supposed to be your sister. I really want to help her so badly but I can't because she won't talk to me. My parents do nothing to help the situation and pretty much just enable her to withdraw more and more from society. I don't know what to do. I don't want to sit here and watch her commit suicide in a few years or end up homeless... but I am starting to think it is my only option. Please help.
 
lucid scream

lucid scream

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2008
Messages
672
Location
Looking down from the bridge
i dont know the situation really, so ill just throw some ideas out, if any are way off or even offensive, please forgive me?
how are you approaching her about it? she obviously thinks you dont understand, and most people who have never been sick dont. but you have to understand she IS sick, if she had cancer would you treat the situation differently?

we cannot force another person to do anything. all you can do is first try to understand its a sickness, then try to let her know your there for her when she needs to talk, cry, rail, whatever.
but then as i said i dont really know trhe situation. she could very well be a lzy youngster who has found a free ride in your parents and will ride it till the bitter end-but again, you cant force her to be anything else, she has to want it.
is she being seen and treated by a doctor?
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Lucid makes some good comments and it's wise to listen to him. I too am concerned that you say according to her mother she's is bipolar. Unless her mother is a practising psychiatrist she can't diagnose her (and even then it's not advisable to treat family members).

You can't make someone like you just because your parents got married - it doesn't create an automatic bond and she isn't your responsibility. Live your life and let her live hers.
 
A

aussiebong

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
6
Update

Sorry to dig up an old thread:innocent:, but I just wanted to give an update with what is going on in my life. It has now been over a year since my step-sister uttered a single word to me. I am going to University and things are going well in my life. Every day is very hard to be around her. I am so stressed out by living in the same house. I would move out of here, but I can't afford it right now. It is a hard decision to make though. I probably could afford it but I really don't know what is cheaper at the moment (my sanity or paying more rent.. haha).

I don't know what I did wrong and why she hates me. I wish I could make things better for her in some way. :(

She has started moving my things around in the house when I am gone. She will hide my things, shut off appliances and alarm clocks that I have in my bed room and generally just direct aggression toward me and my possessions. I am not sure why I have become a target of her aggression, I think she is jealous of me deep down. I have friends, am going to school, and am fairly happy. I think that makes her angry at herself on some level, and it just comes out as aggression toward me. Although I am trying to stay happy, it is hard. I know other people on here have way bigger problems than me (like suicide and stuff), but I don't know where to turn... it's not like I can say "stop acting so damn crazy" :mad:to her face... although I would like to. I have no gauge of where she is right now psychologically as I have not talked to her in over a year. Would me confronting her cause her to run away, harm me physically, or harm herself? I don't know and I have no way of knowing.

Anyway, sorry to toss this random nonsense out here, but I really need some support, encouragement, and ideas:confused:. I don't know why some people get dealt things like this in their personal lives. I am burning out a little bit because of this and I don't want it to effect me in a way that compromises my goals. Thanks a lot for reading this and please send your thoughts my way.
 
A

aussiebong

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
6
Also, do you think this is indicative of bipolar / manic depression, or do you think there is a personality disorder at work here?
 
D

Dollit

Guest
No one on here is qualified to make that sort of comment. Even a qualified psychiatrist wouldn't make that sort of comment without meeting the person concerned. All we can do is give you our personal experiences.
 
A

aussiebong

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
6
No one on here is qualified to make that sort of comment. Even a qualified psychiatrist wouldn't make that sort of comment without meeting the person concerned. All we can do is give you our personal experiences.
Okay, thanks. I wasn't expecting a diagnosis :p, I was just wondering if this was in the right forum?
 
A

aussiebong

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
6
I don't understand what you mean by the right forum?
I just wasn't sure if this was the correct place for this concern. I am not sure if she has bipolar or a personality disorder, or what? I know you cannot diagnose what the problem is based on the two paragraphs I have written, but is there another forum that is for family and friends to discuss these issues? Thanks.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
There's a section in this forum for families etc but I don't know what other forums there are on the internet. I don't know what country you're in or what locality if you're in this country perhaps you should try someone like MIND or Rethink - there's a tab on the front page of this forum that will take you into a page with contact details.
 
emski

emski

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
1,151
Location
North West
it's not like I can say "stop acting so damn crazy" :mad:to her face... although I would like to.
You're right; you can't say this to her. Well you could in theory, but people with bipolar disorder, if that is what she has, can't simply stop behaving in a certain way. It's an illness, and you can't simply snap out of it.

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder which can affect the sufferer's behaviour, and often the sufferer does not have an idea that their behaviour is unusual. Your sister might not be aware that she is moving stuff, or she might be doing it for what she thinks is a harmless reason (i.e. shutting appliances off to save electricity or for fire safety).

In any case, it sounds like you are unsure of her psychological state at present, but you are obviously concerned about her. I think you should tell her that you are there for her if she wants to talk, or ask your parents to talk to her. She obviously needs help right now. Is she seeing a doctor or anyone at present?
 
T

Twylight

Guest
When I go into a psychosis ( seriously ill ) , I move furniture and objects around - it's as if I'm putting them on ' Lay lines '.

Perhaps you could write a letter to her Doctor !
 
A

aussiebong

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
6
In any case, it sounds like you are unsure of her psychological state at present, but you are obviously concerned about her. I think you should tell her that you are there for her if she wants to talk, or ask your parents to talk to her. She obviously needs help right now. Is she seeing a doctor or anyone at present?
Thanks. It's probably a good idea if I talk to my parents about it. I always assume she is doing the things she does out of animosity or hatred of me because it is easy to assume the worst (especially when she doesn't talk to me). It's difficult to understand her intentions or what is going on when I say "please don't touch my things" and she sits there without even acknowledging me. I guess it is good to talk to rational people about it. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it.. so thanks.
 
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