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Cal

Cal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
339
Location
South West Scotland
Hi,
i was just wondering if i could have a few opinions. I have been becoming inreasingly worried i may have schizophrenia and have been offered someone to talk to about it, i'm just not sure if it would be worth it or if i'd been wasting their time. The thing is it started with me occasionally hearing voices, some in my head (like thoughts that weren't mine or different voices, none of which mine, talking to each other) and some are outside of my head so i think i've heard them, they're all aggresive voices and not always coherent. However from there i started doing some research and realising i had symptoms i never realised were symptoms such as thinking other people could hear my thoughts (i won't think about people when they're nearby because i always think they can hear me or i'll change the nature of the thoughts to mislead them) or having delusions of being observed (these aren't very strongly held but i'll often find myself thinking that i'm being observed by an unknown force and that everything i know is just a set, to the point where i'll take actions to not let on that i realise), my thoughts are often quite hard to control, coming in rushes sometimes, slowly others or sometimes my mind will just go blank, this is starting to annoy my friends because i'll just stop talking half way through a sentence and then change subject after a second or two of silence also i make links between subjects that people don't understand and thus find people get confused in long discussions with me. There are other less important things that i have noticed are unusual such as to do with my moods and emotions. The slight problem is that a lot of the negative symptoms could be explained by depression since i have recently been talking to my local mental health service about it (not very helpful in my case though as i feel the guy is quite dissmissive of what i say and quite often says that how i feel is normal, when i said to him i was worried i was schizophrenic he said i wasn't without even asking why). If there are any questions that you have that will help you clarify your opinions i'll try and help but yeah what i'm asking is should i go talk to someone about it. (sorry that was a bit long-winded)
 
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Dollit

Guest
Hi Cal - welcome to the forum and if you have worries about your mental health then they should be taken seriously. No one one here can give you a diagnosis all they can do is give an opinion. But you will get support and people will take you seriously.

If the health professional you mention a psychiatrist? My psychiatrist (the one before I have now) told me I don't hear voices it's just my thoughts going wild because I'm bipolar because they're inside my head not out of it but that's quite a simplistic approach. When I'm under a lot of stress I hear music I've never heard before and it is seriously beautiful. I've looked out of the window before now to see who's got a car radio on loud.

I think that if your worries are bothering you to the point where it's affecting your life then it would be a good idea to talk to someone - I don't know where you are but we have members from all over who would be able to point you in the right direction (I hope). :hug:
 
Cal

Cal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
339
Location
South West Scotland
the person i'm seeing about the depression i'm not sure about but the person i have been offered to talk to is a psychiatrist (i think). The main thing that worried me about what i hear is that it is never nice things, examples are when i'm lying in bed not able to sleep iv'e heard something hiss my name right next to my ear and i ended up having to go downstairs or i've been outside in the middle of the night and heard someone shouting at me, but i live in the middle of nowhere and this person would have to be standing in a field shouting angry nonsense at me specifically, i still went inside and locked the door. However not all of my hallucinations are auditory, i see things sometimes, nothing solid but usually it'll be shadows in my peripheral vision that go away when i look at them or one time i was looking down my garden and could see something quite big rushing back and forth incredibly quickly. Scariest one i've had (which i sometimes tell as a ghost story cos i'm no good at making them up) is i once woke up to feel a hand pressed on my back, it stayed there for a short amount of time and then there were a couple of thumps and the sound of someone running down the stairs and the front door slamming, all the while the cat was making lots of noise, but when i checked the cat was sat quietly, the front door was locked and there was no sign of anyone having been there and when i asked my dad he said i must have dreamt it because he hadn't heard anything but i know for a fact i was awake.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Your night time experience, the ghost story, sounds like an experience I had. I was terrified. As I was falling asleep I felt someone grip me and I looked up and an old lady was by the bed, bending over to hold me down. I screamed like mad and she went. There was no one in the flat. I stayed up all night and rang my GP the next morning. It turned out it was sleep paralysis which I had on waking before and it's a different experience but this was falling asleep which is seriously scary.

If you've been offered a psychiatrist to talk to then that's good. Be honest but don't embellish and talk of how it makes you feel when you hear the voices and see things. We have a section on here for people who hear voices and there's a few people post on there. Maybe it you had a look and see if there's someone you can identify with?

Meanwhile, keep posting and let me know how you are. :hug:
 
Cal

Cal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
339
Location
South West Scotland
I'm just a bit unsure because i don't hear things that often but when i do it's always with frightening intensity. i can go weeks or even months without hearing anything and then out of the blue, usually at night (but i have trouble sleeping in a normal routine so that's when i'm normally awake) something will happen that sometimes really scares me.
 
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Dollit

Guest
It's not how often you hear them it's the fact that you do and they frighten you is all you should focus on. You are entitled to be helped you know! May I ask how old you are?
 
Cal

Cal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
339
Location
South West Scotland
i'm 17, i left school most of the way through my last year just a few weeks ago because i just couldn't handle it and they wanted me out anyway even though i was doing really well.
 
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Dollit

Guest
I was curious about how old you were because you referenced your dad in a young persons way. That's tough about school but you can continue education at another point if you feel you can cope better. I never actually finished school properly and never got my degree but I do more than okay.

When is your appointment with the psych?
 
Cal

Cal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
339
Location
South West Scotland
in terms of school i still have a place at univesity if i choose to accept it and with the psychiatrist i haven't got an appointment, my mum works in mental health and says she has a friend (the psychiatrist) i can talk to if i want to but i haven't said if i want to yet, however i think i will. It's a bit hard because i'm worried about schizophrenia and my mum works with schizophrenics, but i find she's not someone i can really talk to even though she's the only person i live with.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Even if you did turn out to have schizophrenia it wouldn't have to be the end of the world. I thought I was going to die when I was told that I had bipolar disorder and that I was on the very worst end of the scale. When I listened to what was being said to me they said that other coping factors can help, like insight and intelligence and how high functioning you are. I don't work anymore (apart from some voluntary work) because I get wiped out but then I'm nearly 50 so I've worked a long time. Talk to the friend of your mum's and try to get some insight into how you're feeling and what things may mean for you. It's best to have an idea of what you're fighting. No good aiming a gun at a big tall dragon if it's just a gecko you're fighting.
 
Z

Zheng

Active member
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
27
Schizophrenia is actually quite rare. I don't know what exactly kind of mental illness you are suffering but I hope things are OK now. I believe you probably now gained a better knowledge of what you suffered and is probably laughing at what you thought were hallucinations. I think you should know somethings are real and other things can't be real. Somethings can't be real you saw a ghost.
 
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