Hello

[Zaku]

Hi, um i was looking for help online to try to help me get over some of my problems and i found this forum.

Ok so i guess i'l just start *deep breathe* I'm 21 i'v never really had a reason to be alive i mean i just alway's felt that i was useless. I never fit in any where not in school, my "friends" or my family and thing's have just started coming out so iguess i'l just tell you all some of my problems

I can't seem to find a job any where an then when i apply to stores an stuff my brother tells me that those arn't jobs for someone my age. All my friends have no problems finding work so i feel left out because i feel like a failure because everyone in my family has never had a problem finding work. About my friends...i feel like they only call me when they need or want something. Their the type of people that if you disagree with them they make you feel completely stupid an start to insult you infront of everyone. And this other person i know only calls me when he needs something because the last few times he's called me were to give him rides an let him borrow money. And with all this and my other problems i've found that the only time i can calm down and focus on one thing is when i cut myself i mean someone as worthless as me deserves the pain anyway right? I can't seem to find anyone that really likes me, and i need other people around me to be happy but those people are the reason i feel so crappy about myself, and they're always trying to change me..i thought friends were suposed to like you the way you are and tell youto be yourself. I'm not trying to bitch an complain but i started cutting myself a week ago and i haven't stopped since. I just feel like a waste of a human life, no one likes me and no one ever will i wasn't even suposed to be born.

Sorry if it just seems like i'm bitching and complaining.

 

[Clucky111]

Hello and

First of all, I really believe everyone has a reason to live. You might not see it now, but one day you will because there IS a reason - and it'll be a good one!

If it makes you feel better - I only even started to fit in at school during my A-Levels, and I knew alot of people who felt like they didn't and still don't feel like they fit in. You're not the only one, and I'm sure you'll find some people who are good friends soon.

I have also had 'friends' use me in the past - and it got to the stage where I had to tell myself to be selfish for once, because what they were asking of me was pushing me over the edge. Do you think you could do something? Like, talk to them maybe and see if you can work it out? They may not realise how they make you feel right now.

Also - have you been to see your GP? If not, please consider it because they can be a great help and may be able to refer you for counselling.

As for the work issue, many people are out of work now, and many of them are brilliantly qualified etc, I know of a few people who have now got store jobs after losing their old ones. Store jobs are by no means for only people of a certain age, they are for anyone willing to work for their money. I'm out of work atm (I was having a few problems there) and have now decided it's just better for me to sort my head out before I start putting more stress on myself, maybe you should do the same? As you can't be expected to perform well if you're ill.

I have no experience of self-harm so I shall leave that for someone who has, but have you tried ringing the Samaritans when things get bad?

08457 90 90 90​

I hope things get better for you soon.

x

 

[Zaku]

Hello and thank you for your advice

Actually since i posted this thread i have been feeling much better due to the fact of just letting everything out and into the open [sort of]. And since i posted on thsi site i've found 2 good friends that actually call me not for favor's an stuff but to go out to eat and have a good time. I've almost completely stopped talking to the one's that only call me for favor's and if they ask for something i tell them no. I still don't get along with some of my family but it's not like they're makeing a effort to make things better and i'v tried to fix things on my own before but that just blew up in my face.

I've stopped self-harming myself and i haven't done it for the past 5 day's, i know it doesn't seem like much but i had done it for a week straight everyday in the same spot (the spots not visible so no one know's about it). And my thought's of suicide have completely gone away so yay for that

Thanks again Clucky111 for your advice i really appreciate it.

 

[Clucky111]

Hey, no problem Zaku. I'm glad you're feeling better and things are looking up

x