Hello

[InnerMountaineer]

Hi there everybody,

Looking for a place where I can read and write about the ups and downs of life with depression and anxiety. I'm in Edinburgh.

I'm currently recovering from a broken wrist, and more to the point, suffering from withdrawal symptoms from the dihydrocodeine I was given for the pain, which I've just stopped taking.

Feeling pretty crap just now, but just trying to ride it out and give my body a chance to adjust. Am beginning to stress a little though, as I have things to deal with and the wrist is sore. Would like nothing better to curl up and go to sleep, but my internal clock is already up the creak (up all night, sleeping in the morning, napping in the afternoon/evening) so trying to stay awake. There are things I know I coud do which might help-- a shower, a walk, maybe even getting some of these things done so they're out of the way, but I'm so tired and ropey, I really can't be bothered. (The withdrawal is a bit like flu-- achey body, lack of energy, sore throat, shivers and sweats, tummy upset, general malaise). Could use a little interaction, so thought I'd come and say hi on here,

Warm wishes to all,

Inny

 

[rollinat]

Hi and to the forum. How is life in Edinburgh? (I have just moved from just across the Forth to Colorado) I hope you enjoy coming here and that your withdrawal from painkillers doesn't take too long. Are you also on meds for depression / anxiety?

Look forward to seeing you around.

Rollinat

 

[Ainsworth]

Hey Inny

 

[InnerMountaineer]

Hey there rollinat and unremarkable,

Thanks for the welcomes. Wow rollinat, that's one hell of a long way to move! And I thought I'd come a long way moving from Hertfordshire to here 3 years ago! Ed is slighly overcast and a bit windy, ta. Also looking the worse for wear from all the tram roadworks, which everyone is now heartily fed up with. I also missed the end of Festival fireworks concert yesterday which I usually go to, because of feeling ropey. Still, there'll be plenty more. You know what Ed is like-- any excuse for a packet of sparklers and a knees up. What inspired your move across the pond?

I'm told the first week of withdrawal is the worst, peaking around day 3-4. Although I've not been taking it for long, I think the anxiety probably makes it worse. I'm really disturbed no one warned me about this to begin with. Not as if I was given a choice. Today is day 2.

I take paroxetine for the anxiety and depression and have done for the last 12 years or so. It enabled me to continue with about 15 years of therapy, leave a long relationship that I wasn't happy in, and start again up here on my own. It's been hard to 'get a life' up here though. I've had some pretty tough times--seems like one thing after another, and while I've done the best I could, I haven't really got very far in building the life for myself that I want to live. I'll be happier when I've got over this drug though, I'm looking forwards to that.

Looking forwards to seeing you on the forums too,

All the best,

Inny

 

[CelticTwilight]

Inny,

Glad you are looking forwards and Edinburgh is one of my favourite places in Britain.

When I was prescribed anti-depressants earlier this year not getting any info on withdrawal was a major factor in my decision not to take them. However, I do realize that sometimes people simply have to take certain drugs in certain situations if they are to avoid immediate extremes of pain or anxiety etc.

Sounds like you are making a good fist of toughing it out so well done but go easy on yourself.

CT

 

[InnerMountaineer]

Thanks Celtic Twilight!

Yeah the amount and quality of information we're given as patients is woefully lacking in my experience. I've only found out what I have about certain drugs and people's real experience with them by searching online. Of the more 'official' ones, I've found Net Doctor to be quite good-- it was recommended to me by my old doctor in England, if I wanted to check stuff out and get more info. Other than that, I mostly google and see what comes up. Of course, you have to take a broad view of what people have had difficulties with, because we're all so different, suddering from different things and reacting in different ways. One person might thrive on what another person really doesn't get on with. But there are commonalities, and sometimes I find someone has managed to describe something that I haven't been able to put into words. Of course, I'm mainly doing my searches after the fact, which is a bit late! But it does help me to prepare for difficulties if they arise. Forewarned is forearmed.

The last couple of days have been a bit rough, but I'm perservering. I went to the physiotherapist this morning and she was very encouraging. The wrist is improving. Slowly, but it's getting there.

Am I imagining things Celtic, or are you fairly new too? I may have got mixed up but if I haven't to you too!!

Thanks for reading,

Inny

 

[keepsafe]

to the forum Inny & Celtic - hope that you can stay awake now in order to get a better sleep later - hahahaha says me I have been in bed most of the day and have taken diazepam! I hope you are out of the withdrawal stage of the tablets soon.

I have to ask doesn;t taking the same a.d for twelve years make you used to the effects therefore they stop working - forgive my ignorance I just wondered. I am on a.d's myself and a.p's perhaps they don;t work that way eh - probably not - I will shut up - LOL - just trying to keep you (and me) awake!
KS

 

[CelticTwilight]

Inny,

Yes I 'am' new too so thanks for the warm welcome. Hopefully my rather hasty choice of username won't cause confusion but I can always change it ne probs.

I've only found out what I have about certain drugs and people's real experience with them by searching online.

[/COLOR]

I was going to say just that in my initial post but deleted it as I thought you may read up and find some horror story then freak.



[QUOTE]One person might thrive on what another person really doesn't get on with. But there are commonalities...[/QUOTE]


Yes I think that is a basic truth borne out on such sites without having to read too far.

That's a good philosophy to practice IMO, so stay prepared and hopefully you will be through it very soon with no complications.


CT

 

[rollinat]

Hi Inny

Hope the withdrawal turns out to be not too bad. You're right that doctors are none too keen to discuss withdrawing from the things they are keen to prescribe. I suppose one of the dangers of looking too much online is that people are probably much more likely to write about a bad experience than a good one. I have tended not to care what I've been prescribed, I have to say, but that's not really a very healthy attitude to have.

Hertfordshire is a pretty long way away from Edinburgh but not, I grant you, quite as far as Colorado! We moved because of my OH's job - we either moved or he would be made redundant, so we thought we should give it a go. Five weeks in and things are ok, though I need to start finding things to do for myself I think. The weather is undeniably better, and the prospect of proper snow and blue skies in the winter seems a bit of an improvement on Scotland too. It's hard moving somewhere new and it does take a long time to feel settled. We will get our furniture later this week so that will make it feel more like home. I have spent all morning trying to get through to some US government department, so it seems that bureaucracy is the same the world over (I got through once this morning and they promptly hung up on me )

Welcome to Celtic Twilight too! Hope to chat more soon.

Rollinat

 

[CelticTwilight]

Thanks rollinat and also keepsafe, somehow I missed your post must have been the lack of sleep but the last two nights have been better so pretty much up to speed now and can get on with some work.

CT

 

[InnerMountaineer]

Sleep and Paroxetine

Hey all,

Thanks for the replies, the last few days have been a little iffy to say the least so haven't posted, but I've been reading!

You might well be right keepsafe! The paroxetine I take has gone through several phases in how it affects me whilst I've been on it, ranging from a kind of air-headed, simplistic way of being to begin with, where I couldn't keep hold of concepts or focus on anything for any length of time (but basically didn't give a toss about anything so it didn't really matter!), to a kind of stability that actually helps me deal with things in life a bit more effectively. I much prefer the latter, needless to say, as I don't think I contribute to society much as an airhead!

You could argue though, that I've changed and grown since I first started taking it, so my ability to deal with things is down to me rather than the drug, but I don't personally believe that. Feels like without it, I would be back to the quivering, frightened mess I was in no time. Plus I'd most likely have withdrawal to go through, which after all these years would probably be a whole issue in itself and frankly scares me shitless. I'm of the mind, at the moment to let sleeping dogs lie-- for as long as the doc will let me. Oh, and btw, the staying awake thing didn't happen! Yell louder next time!

What a huge decision, rollinat! Talk about sword of Damocles! Hats off to you for giving it a go and taking up the challenge! I know just what you mean about it taking time to settle. Is the place you're in now at all similar to where you were, size wise? I ask because when I moved, all I cared about was that I was moving to Scotland, and (and I know this sounds silly) didn't really think about the fact that I was moving from a small market town to a city! How this major shift in environment escaped me, I have no idea, but it did! I often find the experience of doing something throws up things I never imagined, good and bad. I'm amazed the facilities available here, for instance, and getting around (as I don't drive) is so much easier than where I was. How is it for you?

Red tape is the bane of my life too! Best of luck with getting through that!

Glad you're sleeping better CT. Your name implies a prob with sleeping too, is that right? I used to be completely nocturnal, before I started taking my tablets. Then suddenly I could pick and chose when I slept-- just put my head down and away I went! Such a change! I think that highlights the way these things work for me...

I'm a 'thinker' and one of the downsides to that can be that every time I consider doing something, I think of the consequences of doing it, later on down the line. This kind of knock on effect to taking action or developing ideas can sometimes send me into a downward spiral. For me, the consequences of staying awake during the day were that things would be expected of me that I couldn't handle. If I'm asleep, I don't hear the phone or the door, I can't maintain relationships or deal with the dreaded red tape of life. At night, if I'm awake, I'm safe and free to do just what I want. When I started to take the tablets, all concept of consequences disappeared. I didn't think to worry if someone might come round, and most often, they didn't. For some time, I lived in a world of no consequences. I stayed in the here and now and forgot about everything else. Obviously there's pros and cons to this, but at the time, it felt like a holiday from constant fear and worry, and I think that's what I needed.

Do you remember which ad you were offered? If its the same one as me, I would be happy to share more of my experience of them, if it would help. Just say the word.

Ooh, long post! I've rambled, sorry! I don't get out much!

Hope you're all safe and well today,

Thanks for reading,

Inny

 

[rollinat]

Hi again Inny

You asked about the size of place we are now living - it's a lot bigger as we were in Fife - but strangely when we moved there we picked it fairly arbitrarily because it was a similar size to the place we'd been living in the Midlands. That's probably not such a good way to pick where to live though, as where we had been in the Midlands had been a university town, whereas where we lived wasn't - it changed a bit over the time we were there but still had a lot of dyed-in-the-wool Fifers who thought they were being brave moving from Kelty to Cowdenbeath.

So we are now in a bigger city - bit smaller than Edinburgh so enough facilities but not huge. We are living on the edge of the city near the mountains so it feels peaceful and countrified but we are not far from any amenities.

I found what you said about being awake at night very interesting - before I was on these ADs waking in the night was pretty common and I would feel that I could faff about doing whatever I liked, and it gave me a reason (excuse, more likely) to not do things during the day as I was so tired.

Hope you are having a good weekend.


Rollinat