• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Hello,

J

Jaz

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Queensland, Australia
My undiagnosed spectrum

I'm constantly feeling things I cannot really describe .
I'm happy and I love my wife , family and life .
Work is crap for the first time in over 20 years . Thats not it though .
My major issue is feeling inadequate, constantly I feel like I'm just useless . I numb this with alcohol and it's not what I should be doing . I can stop , but I choose not too . This has been and could be an issue .
My triggers are lots of things . My life is riddled we with triggers , my daughter's kids are being raised by us , my daughter has issues and so do the kids . My other daughter is high anxiety , depressed and has a daughter who is suicidal and on the spectrum. She self harms and has mental episodes regularly.
Me and my wife have a bond that matches no other , we are each other's rock. That in itself is another trigger , she has no time for my mental issues . I'm not coping and I'm depressed. I don't want to become an alcoholic and ruin my life and others .
I feel that my wife and oldest daughter put too much in their plates , no fault of their own but how much is too much . I'm full of axienty just watching them !
Allin all I should be proud and fulfilled with all we do for our kids and each other , but I'm not feeling proud I'm feeling down and beaten . Like I'm not the man I should be , as whimp, a loser . Just inadequate.
How is it that a man can feel this way when he has everything? My dreams have been fulfilled, beautiful awesome wife and family , we own our home , we are stable not rich but stable and building a great retirement. 7 kids , 12 grandkids . There are spectrum issues and we are raising two of the grandkids, but that's rewarding . Isn't it? It's hard and they drive me insane but I couldn't wish for a better life . Why do I feel this way ? Tired , depressed, axienty, frustrated..... Why ?
 
1

1redpath

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2021
Messages
197
Location
.
Hi Jaz.
I'll start with the line.
How is it that a man can feel this way when he has everything?
Unfortunately illness don't work like that we're all capable of getting I'll.
Sounds like you have a great family willing to help each other
You said you can't talk to wife about it (why not)
Talk to her I'm sure she will help you .
Maybe speak to a gp if your symptoms are starting to effect/impact your life
Maybe you just need a break to refuel
 
J

Jaz

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Queensland, Australia
Hello 1redpath,

Thank you for the reply . I can't talk to my wife because she is too wrapped up with everyone else's problems. I'm not upset about that because it's what we do . We are each other's rock , but right now I'm not feeling proud of like I can be anyone's rock. I feel like crawling into a deep hole and hiding because finally instead of being there for everyone, I'm failing and need something for myself. As for a break , there's no break from this not right now . I hope I'm making sense.
 
1

1redpath

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2021
Messages
197
Location
.
You can't keep someone else healthy if your not healthy
I believe your strong enough to see this out
Remember there no shame in seeking help
21th century now it makes you no less of a man husband ,dad,grandad to tell your wife your not coping.
Takes a man to admit something.
Not just want he puts on the table
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
8,066
Location
England
Hello Jaz, welcome to the forum.
 
W

Waverunner

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Messages
2,302
Welcome to the forum. It sounds as though you are burnt out by all the things you are dealing with.
 

Similar threads

T
Replies
2
Views
10
Maitri
R
Replies
4
Views
23
R
B
Replies
2
Views
29
Contramike
Contramike
Top