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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hello... :(

Mirrors

Mirrors

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Recife
Hello everyone,

I'm tired of living especially within society. People no longer have need for others, and I have concluded that humans are deceitful, greedy, dishonest, hypocrite, and ungrateful. Relationship are nothing but the exploitation of others to fit one agenda. Everyone can be replaced, everyone is expendable, you can always find a spar for any talent.

Right now, I feel powerless because of depression, and having a dissociative identity disorder make it worse. Right now, I'm the one writing, I feel empty and lost for the simple reason that I don't even remember my childhood without sharing memories with others alters. (I won't show my system however or talk about any trauma)

The only reason why I have still a little bit of faith is that my alters are not that bad, and it is possible to have a normal life since I can follow a schedule. Some relatives are getting suspicious of my condition, but I will never tell them.

I hate myself for being weak, I can't see a therapist because in the country I live in, DID is not diagnosed in my country unlike the US, my first fear is getting diagnosed for something else, like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

The problem is that in real life I feel like I'm no one, belonging to nothing at all, I even consider my family as outsiders since we don't share our inner world.

Because as a natural order of things, the weak is destined to beneath under the boot of the strong and that life is all about the use of others, nothing good will happen to me.

Even worse, I can't make the whole happy since it is nearly impossible for me to maintain a decent relationship with anyone because of fragmentation.

It's hard for me to commit suicide, God will be upset and I don't want to burn like a chicken fry. I already have experience that pain, and it hurt.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
4,794
Location
On a comet
Welcome to the forums. I believe you will find this place to be kind and supportive.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,785
Location
Nashua NH
Hello everyone,

I'm tired of living especially within society. People no longer have need for others, and I have concluded that humans are deceitful, greedy, dishonest, hypocrite, and ungrateful. Relationship are nothing but the exploitation of others to fit one agenda. Everyone can be replaced, everyone is expendable, you can always find a spar for any talent.

Right now, I feel powerless because of depression, and having a dissociative identity disorder make it worse. Right now, I'm the one writing, I feel empty and lost for the simple reason that I don't even remember my childhood without sharing memories with others alters. (I won't show my system however or talk about any trauma)

The only reason why I have still a little bit of faith is that my alters are not that bad, and it is possible to have a normal life since I can follow a schedule. Some relatives are getting suspicious of my condition, but I will never tell them.

I hate myself for being weak, I can't see a therapist because in the country I live in, DID is not diagnosed in my country unlike the US, my first fear is getting diagnosed for something else, like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

The problem is that in real life I feel like I'm no one, belonging to nothing at all, I even consider my family as outsiders since we don't share our inner world.

Because as a natural order of things, the weak is destined to beneath under the boot of the strong and that life is all about the use of others, nothing good will happen to me.

Even worse, I can't make the whole happy since it is nearly impossible for me to maintain a decent relationship with anyone because of fragmentation.

It's hard for me to commit suicide, God will be upset and I don't want to burn like a chicken fry. I already have experience that pain, and it hurt.
Welcome to the forum, Mirrors. I relate a lot to some of what you have written, about being weak and up against the strong.... You sound like you have a lot of pain and are just tired of it all. I understand. Welcome to the forums. xo, j
 
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