• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hello

S

Ss84

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Essex
Hi,
I have just joined this forum. I have. had slight bouts of depression & feeling low before. but at the moment my partner is in a very dark place & I just want some advice on how to be there, she says she doesn't want to bring me down anymore & I deserve happiness, is it common when people are suffering like this they push away the people close to them?.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
6,402
Location
Nashua NH
Hi,
I have just joined this forum. I have. had slight bouts of depression & feeling low before. but at the moment my partner is in a very dark place & I just want some advice on how to be there, she says she doesn't want to bring me down anymore & I deserve happiness, is it common when people are suffering like this they push away the people close to them?.
yes
 
S

sadgirl

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2012
Messages
2,022
Location
in my own private hell
Hi ss84 and welcome to the forum please feel free to look around and post whenever you can I am sorry to hear about your situation but its normal for people who are suffering from depression to push you away
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
5,337
Location
Norway
Hi Ss84 welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
S

Ss84

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Essex
Hi all

thanks for the quick responses & welcoming. she reached out to me after a week to say she isn't any better, she has been battling this for months. I didn't see the signs early on & I am hurting because I didn't. I know I can't blame myself for this, & I only want to be there & not smother her. she said she wants to be alone & she is sorry for dragging me down. she apologised for not being stronger. I just want some guidance on how to be there when she needs ,e. I reached out to her counsellor today as she said she is harming herself. I know she may hate me for that but I only want to help. I understand she is pushing me away but I am not just going to abandon her when she is like this.
 
P

Pinapple4

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
39
Location
Montreal, Canada
Hello, I remember when I was depressed, I also pushed everyone away, but subtly because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I think that I appreciated little reminders from close ones that they were there, but they gave me space so I could breathe and not feel pressured to heal quickly because seeing them worry made it harder to be happy. Just checked on me regularly to make sure I knew someone cared and was there if I needed them.
 
S

Ss84

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Essex
Hi Pinapple4

thanks for getting back to me! I kind of get what your saying, don’t smother but just let them know your there! It’s hard as I don’t want to message asking if she is ok when maybe she isn’t, I am slowly learning how to help! I wrote her a letter the other day, explaining I know I can’t fix it but I am here whenever you need me!
 
P

Pinapple4

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
39
Location
Montreal, Canada
I think it's different for people, but a close friend of mine would sometimes just text me jokes and genuinely made me smile. He wouldn't text just to ask how I was. I think I would have felt forced to tell him I was fine. He would just randomly say something that would brighten up my day. I knew someone cared. I occasionally opened up when I felt like I had the energy. Good luck!
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
6,402
Location
Nashua NH
It is good that you reached out to her counselor on the self harming. Do you live together? Is she just looking for a a little bit of space? I would give her all the time and space she needs but check in maybe once a week to let her know that you still care and ask if there is anything you can do to help her. Outside of that it’s a waiting game. It is very good of you to be so loyal to her and for you to care. xo, j
 
S

Ss84

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Essex
It is good that you reached out to her counselor on the self harming. Do you live together? Is she just looking for a a little bit of space? I would give her all the time and space she needs but check in maybe once a week to let her know that you still care and ask if there is anything you can do to help her. Outside of that it’s a waiting game. It is very good of you to be so loyal to her and for you to care. xo, j
Hi JessisMe
sorry I didn't see this sooner. I reached out, on Friday and I need to speak to him tomorrow as this isn't the first time, we don't live together. we did but she left when it got too much as we wasn't getting on & I didn't see the signs, something I hold my hands up to.

I was thinking of popping to see her tomorrow just to let here know I am there whenever she needs me, & I will listen to her. we have a kitten & I was thinking of bringing him with me as she says she misses him. I wish I could share the content of what she said, just to get an opinion. I do know she wants space & that is something I am going to have to respect.
 
S

Ss84

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Essex
I have just had this message from a response to a letter I have sent. not sure how to respond to it, any thoughts?.......



`
I’ve read your letter. Thank you. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I know I’ve shut you out. I shut out everyone... I think my mum probably feels the same.

Tony got in touch with me Friday or Saturday - the days all blend into one - and offered me a free appointment to make sure I’m ok.. I thought that he might have heard from you. I am going to make sure I keep seeing him.

I feel so disappointed in myself for becoming this person again and it is a build up of so many things. Last year was extremely difficult for me and I’m still trying to find my way.

I never stopped loving you and I’ve never stopped missing you. I just need to learn how I can like myself again because I look at myself and i hate who I am and the person I have become
`
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
P Hello Introduce Yourself 7
T hello Introduce Yourself 10
M Hello Introduce Yourself 4
S Hello lovely people :) Introduce Yourself 7
C Hello Introduce Yourself 2
C Hello Introduce Yourself 3
Marrex Hello Forum World! Introduce Yourself 7
S Hello Im Sarah Introduce Yourself 10
G Hello to all, and thank you. Introduce Yourself 9
L Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 6
T Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 5
H Hello Introduce Yourself 3
iRRelevant Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 15
U Hello, there! Introduce Yourself 6
Y hello. Introduce Yourself 3
A Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 10
B hello! Introduce Yourself 2
T Hello Introduce Yourself 2
J Hello Introduce Yourself 2
MeAndMyDepression Hello, I'm new here Introduce Yourself 3
S Hello, new here! Introduce Yourself 4
F hello! I'm Flower96 Introduce Yourself 4
T Hello! Introduce Yourself 6
Tambam2021 Hello help!! Introduce Yourself 7
Rise_Above04 Hello Introduce Yourself 4
S Hello ! Introduce Yourself 4
gay cotard Hello there Introduce Yourself 10
R Hello.... Introduce Yourself 3
Z Hello Introduce Yourself 4
L Hello Introduce Yourself 4
A hello Introduce Yourself 2
M Hello Introduce Yourself 3
M Hello i am a new member Introduce Yourself 7
A Hello fellow people! Introduce Yourself 13
H Hello there forum friends :) Introduce Yourself 13
N Hello Everyone! Introduce Yourself 3
A Hello Introduce Yourself 5
H Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 5
gray_catriss hello! Introduce Yourself 4
P hello everyone - new girl on forum trigger warning. Introduce Yourself 18
L Hello to all. Introduce Yourself 6
N New to forum. Hello Everybody Introduce Yourself 7
Sissy2021 Hello I'm new here Introduce Yourself 26
J Hello Introduce Yourself 5
K Hello Introduce Yourself 3
S Hello I am new Introduce Yourself 6
P Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 12
E Hello Introduce Yourself 3
S Hello I’m Sasha Introduce Yourself 5
D Hello there Introduce Yourself 6

Similar threads

Top