J
jooblue
Guest
Hello 
I signed up yesterday after looking for a forum online. I've been "depressed" for five years, and currently under assessment as there's a question mark over being bipolar.
I was raped (not the ideal way to lose your virginity) and then leapt into breif marriage with someone who couldn't/wouldn't understand, and unfortunately took a controlling and manipulative attitude towards me. He also lived on the other side of the law, and I eventually rolled up to Heathrow and jumped on a plane to Germany. For no particular reason.
I've learnt I can't run away from how I feel, and that no matter how much I want to just snap out of it, I can't. I am also slowly accepting that it wasn't my fault, even though that's still not easy to write that, and I really want to give you a list of why I think it probably is my fault.
Luckily I get good days in between the bad days so have taken the opportunity to write while I am not feeling really really low. Hope I can help others with ways of getting through it, and hope to grab a bit of support when I know I, at some point, will go down like a lead balloon.
Thanks for the welcome on the Forum - appreciate it.
(bigg fan of tea)

I signed up yesterday after looking for a forum online. I've been "depressed" for five years, and currently under assessment as there's a question mark over being bipolar.
I was raped (not the ideal way to lose your virginity) and then leapt into breif marriage with someone who couldn't/wouldn't understand, and unfortunately took a controlling and manipulative attitude towards me. He also lived on the other side of the law, and I eventually rolled up to Heathrow and jumped on a plane to Germany. For no particular reason.
I've learnt I can't run away from how I feel, and that no matter how much I want to just snap out of it, I can't. I am also slowly accepting that it wasn't my fault, even though that's still not easy to write that, and I really want to give you a list of why I think it probably is my fault.
Luckily I get good days in between the bad days so have taken the opportunity to write while I am not feeling really really low. Hope I can help others with ways of getting through it, and hope to grab a bit of support when I know I, at some point, will go down like a lead balloon.
Thanks for the welcome on the Forum - appreciate it.
