• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hello

J

jooblue

Guest
Hello :)

I signed up yesterday after looking for a forum online. I've been "depressed" for five years, and currently under assessment as there's a question mark over being bipolar.

I was raped (not the ideal way to lose your virginity) and then leapt into breif marriage with someone who couldn't/wouldn't understand, and unfortunately took a controlling and manipulative attitude towards me. He also lived on the other side of the law, and I eventually rolled up to Heathrow and jumped on a plane to Germany. For no particular reason.

I've learnt I can't run away from how I feel, and that no matter how much I want to just snap out of it, I can't. I am also slowly accepting that it wasn't my fault, even though that's still not easy to write that, and I really want to give you a list of why I think it probably is my fault.

Luckily I get good days in between the bad days so have taken the opportunity to write while I am not feeling really really low. Hope I can help others with ways of getting through it, and hope to grab a bit of support when I know I, at some point, will go down like a lead balloon.

Thanks for the welcome on the Forum - appreciate it. :tea: (bigg fan of tea)
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

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Hey there jooblue. Welcome to the boards...

:welcome:
 
daffy

daffy

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Hello and welcome jooblue:welcome:



No one deserves to be raped. I think thats your way of trying to cope. You dont say if you have had councelling to discuss your feelings cos i think you definatly need it. Am i right in assuming that the depression came on as a result of the rape. If so there is a lot that can be done for you. Medication will only supress it. You need a person experienced in this field to help you come to terms with your ordeal.

I dont know whether u are seeing a psych or a gp bu i really think councelling could help

take carexxx
:grouphug:
 
J

jooblue

Guest
Thanks for the welcome guys.

It's weird because I would probably say the same to anyone else - that it wasn't their fault - but somehow I've been convinced that it’s different for me. I was referred to a counsellor fairly soon after the event, but you got six sessions and then cut off because of funding, and I felt obliged to “feel better” by the end of those, that’s crazy isn’t it? My gp has recently offered me another route into counselling and I’m thinking about it, I suppose I’ve wanted the option that seems easiest, to take a pill and make it all go away but it doesn’t.

Yeah, I think you’re right, I’m just suppressing issues that aren’t going to disappear by magic. I think I want control over how I feel, and so if I tell myself I can deal with it, then I can. And then I wonder why I can’t and it’s really frustrating and I end up feeling like a failure on top of everything else.

You speak a lot of sense, I guess I’ll have to bite the bullet on this one.
:)
 
Fedup

Fedup

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c009.gif and :welcome: jooblue .
Hope you like it here c014.gif
 
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