Hello!

U

urhere

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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Delaware
#1
Hi!

I am taking Mirtazapine for depression and sleep. I have been on it for about a week, nothing so far in the area of sleep, that is. I know that I need help and fast! I see a behavioral health doctor at the VA for my condition. Moreover, I have service connected conditions I think is one of the reasons for my depression. For example; I have trouble in my lower lumbar, degenerated collage in both knees, hip pain and flat feet. This is enough to make me feel useless getting around trying to tend to my daily activities. At 53, I am already feeling elderly because most of the time I am in unbelievable pain!!!

My grandchildren and I don't get to see each other almost never because I have to give my son money in order to see them and I refuse.

I have been placed on academic probation by 2 colleges I attended because I couldn't concentrate for worrying about moving, bills and my grandchildren. I don't have anyone in my personal life. I hate being single; however, I am divorced/widowed.
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
hello and welcome to the forum. I am on Mirtazepine and at a higher dose it does put you to sleep fairly consistently. I'm on 45mg, the max dose and find it really works well for me as an anti depressant too. What dose are you on? If its 15 mg then you won't find any effects particularly yet as the therapeutic dose is 30mg.

I am widowed too and know how loneliness can be crippling. I do have my children and see them fairly regularly. Why does your son insist on money? What is he playing at?

I hope others will be along soon to chat.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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#3
Hello. I am sorry to hear you're dealing with anxiety and depression in addition to chronic pain. That can't be easy, especially when facing it without a support network of loves ones.

Mirtazapine takes longer than a week to build up in the body which may be why you're not yet feeling relief. Most ADs require 4-6 weeks for therapeutic effect but your doctor can prescribe an adjunct medication to augment the mirtazapine. For insomnia and depression I suggest asking about hypnotic-class meds that aren't habit forming, such as trazodone.

Has the VA got you in a program for chronic pain and is treatment you're receiving effective?

I hope this community can give you some emotional support. You're not alone with your struggles.
 
U

urhere

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Jan 10, 2019
Messages
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Location
Delaware
#4
Hello!

Thank you for your reply to my message. I am being seen at the VA for pain management and they have given me pain pills to help with the chronic pain I'm dealing with. A lot of people have told me that it will take some time for the Mirtazapine to work. Others suggested that I take half of the 15mg because less works better. However, my behavioral health physician is willing to adjust my meds, once I am on these for a while. Trazadone gives me an upset stomach followed by vomiting. I can't take those.

I am glad that I signed up for this forum because now I feel like I have the support that I am not getting elsewhere from here. Thank you so much!
 
U

urhere

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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
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Location
Delaware
#5
Hello!

Thanks for understanding my concerns! My son insist on money because he thinks that I owe him something; he knows how much I want to be in my grandchildren's lives; he is abusing alcohol and drugs; he thinks I am better off than he is with 3 kids; he thinks I don't have anything better to do with my life and that I am aging so I'll be dead soon and it will all belong to him; he thinks he has me wrapped around his fingers let it used to be because he is the only child; he is trying to bully me out of my stuff and uses the kids for bait.
 
Jbb79

Jbb79

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#6
Damn, I Agree, Giving money Won't help, He'll just ask For more - -

Can you use Skype, To Contact them ? ? It Requires a Computer-camera ( Very cheap), Most Computers have them, Then you Can talk to Them, Daily <3 <3
 
U

urhere

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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
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Location
Delaware
#7
Hello!

I have changed my telephone number to the house and automatically the number to my cell phone changes through Xfinity so there won't be anymore text messages from him. However, I call the school nurse and gave her the new number for emergencies at the kids school. I just felt bad changing it because the old number the kids remembered well.
 
E

exyz

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#8
Hello there urhere:welcome:

A grandmother here also over in the UK and difficulty with their parents too, so I can relate to what you are saying very much.

I'm glad that you found us and hope that we can support you. All good wishes.:hug1:
 
U

urhere

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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Delaware
#9
Hello!

Thank you for your support! My son knew what he was doing, when he refuse to allow me to communicate with my grandchildren. He knew that by taking away my family, I would have nothing that I wouldn't be able to survive without him. That makes it personal! It is hard to imagine that your kid is the enemy that he blames you for all of his mistakes because he figures that is the role of a parent.

Yes, I am lonely and depressed but I refuse to be abused emotional, mentally, spiritually or physically by someone whom I gave birth too
 
Jbb79

Jbb79

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Aalestrup --Dk
#10
Hello!

Thank you for your support! My son knew what he was doing, when he refuse to allow me to communicate with my grandchildren. He knew that by taking away my family, I would have nothing that I wouldn't be able to survive without him. That makes it personal! It is hard to imagine that your kid is the enemy that he blames you for all of his mistakes because he figures that is the role of a parent.

Yes, I am lonely and depressed but I refuse to be abused emotional, mentally, spiritually or physically by someone whom I gave birth too
Kids do that, a lot, bec. it's easier to blame, others . . . Growing older, he should become wiser, realize that, He fucked up, not you x x

It Could take years, Most People are too Stressed, To understand things, These days x x

I Blamed my Parents, For every-Thing, When I was young, Now I Understand, it's only by Growing up, I Can change my fate x xx It's on Me, To do So x x
 
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U

urhere

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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Delaware
#11
Hello

Yes, I was young to but I wasn't abusive to my parents and by any chance I was I felt the deepest remorse!
 
U

urhere

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Delaware
#13
At Last

Hello!

At last, their is someone who understands what it's like being a grandparent. Thank you for reading my post and sympathizing with me on this issue. I mean it's really hard. You love your children, look like they should be able to understand that the love you have for your grandchildren are even greater. Sounds like jealousy too me. My son needs to grow up!
 
U

urhere

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Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
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Location
Delaware
#14
Hello!

I appreciate your honesty. That's the problem, he doesn't want to deal with the fact that he made a lot of bad choices, that could have been prevented, if he wasn't so set on annoying me. To separate me from the kids is going to be something he's going to have to deal with from the kids.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

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Jan 12, 2019
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548
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Minnesota, USA
#15
Hello and welcome :)

I am really sorry that you have to go through this much. I am speechless at what your son is doing. I wish you were close by so I can invite you over. I know that nothing or no one can replace family.
I do have kids and I travel over seas just so my mother can see them and spend time with them. I also do it for my kids so they can appreciate what family is.

I found my father disabled when I started to understand life. I remember serving him and taking care of him. He had lung failure and his other lung was at 15% functional only. He gets tired quickly and runs out of breath so he couldn’t do much. I even used to give baths and groom his beard and clip his nails and watch over his medications. I missed so much fun with my teenage friends and couldn’t go out much just to stay with him.
My dad passed away and if it could happen to have back, I will do the same a thousand times. I don’t mean to be bragging but it bothers me to hear about such behaviors from kids towards their parents.
Your son doesn’t understand that what goes around comes around. I hope he realizes his mistake before too late.
I wish you peace and blessings and long prosperous life.