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darkdays

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2018
Messages
4
Feeling very depressed today like most days. I have social anxiety and depression.

Almost everyday I wake up either feeling anxious or depressed. Most of it is caused by my workplace. I hate going there but I need to earn a living somehow. People judge me by my outward appearance.

I'm frustrated, angry, irritated, anxious and very moody, but I try my best to hide these feelings. Outwardly, people probably see me as extremely quiet and reserved. I have trouble communicating. I think due to selective mutism when I was a child. I heard kids with this illness go on to have trouble communicating as adults.

I don't get why people must judge me in a negative light just because I keep to myself. Is there absolutely no empathy? Why must I conform to an extroverted world. Would people treat a person poorly if they had a physical disability or visible signs of mental illnesses.

Depression and anxiety is a silent killer and I wished people could be more understanding that there are a lot of people out there with this issue and struggle everyday because of it.

It gnaws away at us slowly over a course of several years. What I hate the most is people sees our BEHAVIOR AS A CHOICE. IT IS NOT A CHOICE WE CHOOSE.

It is a sympton of what I have. I cannot control my depression and anxiety any more than someome feeling hungry. That is why I feel angry and frustrated.

I wake up everyday. I look like a normal person, but once I need to interact with someone I'm seem as some monster. Why should I feel bad for just trying to participate in society. I try my best, but people must judge me in a negative way.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,397
Location
basketville
Hello darkdays yes the introvert is King it’s a struggle to be around people who constantly need to talk and to be entertained is my take on extroverts. This is what imo makes being introverted harder than it need be.

The best way with this is to begin with yourself in that if you are not comfortable in your own skin other people pick that up –that uncomfortable silence. Learn to be ok with your own quietness and if people don’t like that they can move on . its so unfair that the introvert has to make most if not all the concessions in this world,. But with that said ….best to start being ok with yourself.

People just don’t understand depression and anxiety why would they. Plus having these two anxiety and depression can mean our own thinking is out of whack and we see more into the situation than there might be.

Start to self educate yourself about anxiety and depression as a way to understand more but please don’t use it to get deeper into the label use what you can on the net in the library to raise your own awareness and find strategies to change and reduce the impact both anxiety and depression have on you.

The more you know the less people can play mind games with you.

So don’t have other people be so important in how it affects you. People will always be judgemental we just have to choose to limit our exposure where possible to them

Have you thought about assertiveness classes
 
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darkdays

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2018
Messages
4
Thanks for the thoughtful words blacksmoke. I'll be the first to admit I'm a total chicken at even the thought of taking assertive classes.

I've never been professionally diagnosed, but I probably currently have agoraphobia. I tend to avoid places that will cause my anxiety to spike. Any social events like parties, gatherings or meetings causes me to shrivel up and have a slight panic attack. One of the reasons I hate going to work. I feel trapped and I'm expected to participate in group activities.

However, I am ok in large crowds as long as nothing is expected of me. I can also chat in small groups fewer than 3 people. But yes, assertive is an issue with me unless I know the person really well and trust them.

I do wish people were more mindful of other people's condition. Albeit, normal people are totally ignorant of our mental health issues because they never went through any traumatic experiences. I can't help but feel they should be more aware though. As a society we preach understanding and altrusim, yet people don't take the time to empathize. If companies had better access to people like us many of us could finally contribute to society again instead of relying on financial support.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,997
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum :welcome:
Sorry for your struggles etc
Take care
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
3,212
welcome to the forum :)
 
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