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J

jellytots09

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Jan 22, 2015
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Hello,
I am new here and I am not entirely sure I am posting this in the correct place so apology in advanced. I am in my 20's and not to put a too finer point on it I feel as if I am going out of my mind!

I live in a house that has been full of emotional and at times physical abuse all of my life, it got really bad last year and I spent a lot of the year being called a lot of names! It effected my education and it was really stressful. I don't want to go into too may details because I am paranoid that someone I know might read this and guess it is me though the chances of that are obviously very slim. To sum it up basically, one parent was abusing the other and I was stuck in the middle of protecting the other and receiving emotional abuse from both of them.

We are all living back together now, not a choice of my own but until I get a full time job and funds I will never escape! I just feel like I am constantly anxious. I am always up tight and tense, I am getting alot of headaches and upset stomachs. I feel sick and I dont feel like I can get out of bed. I am constantly thinking over the things that have happened. The parent that abused us all, makes me feel terrible. It gets to the point where I get so anxious that the only way I know how to let it all out is to hurt myself.

I've been to the doctors over and over and had counselling and the doctor just constantly tells me nothing more than just leave, leave them behind and things will get better but no matter how much I explain I cant cope with it and cant do it they just tell me to do it and they leave me alone too it. I don't know what to do :(. I have counselling starting again on Monday and I am getting some support from a domestic abuse charity but i just feel like I need to hide and I don't know how I overcome these anixety feelings and is it all in my head because my doctor just seems to think its the fault of my parents but I don't know. :(

Sorry :(

I don't expect that made much sense at all :(
 
messymoo

messymoo

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:welcome: to the forum.

I'm sorry your stuck in such a difficult situation. I think it's a good thing your getting support from the charity and starting counselling soon.
In an ideal world it would be better to move out from your parents but understand this is not possible right now.
Keep posting here we may not have answers but we can support you through the difficult times.
Messy :hug:
 
J

jellytots09

Member
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Jan 22, 2015
Messages
6
Thank you very much for the reply :)
It'll be nice to have somewhere to come talk :)
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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I don;t think its all in your head, what a terrible situation ((((hugs))), wish you could just get out of there.

Come and talk here any time.
Glad you are getting counselling again and glad you are getting some support.

KS
xxxx
 
J

jellytots09

Member
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Jan 22, 2015
Messages
6
Thank you so much!! At the moment I feel so alone and I am trying my best to get all the support I can! I guess I need to reemember that it isnt all going to change over night. I need to make little steps :)
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Yes small steps in the right direction, It's hard to cope - but you will make friends here. I feel alone too a lot of the time its difficult to feel so isolated.

Ks
xxx
 
messymoo

messymoo

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Keep on making little steps and you will get there. Hopefully being able to share and talk on here will help you too it really has helped me being part of this forum.
Messy xx
 
J

jellytots09

Member
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Jan 22, 2015
Messages
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Thank you for the replies! I have just spent the afternoon out and helped my nan out a bit! was nice to be out of the house! I have been spending too much time at home recently dwelling!
 
messymoo

messymoo

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It does is good to get out and help others. I'm glad it's helped a bit :)

It is too easy to spend lots of time at home dwelling I know I am guilty of that too. :hug: xx
 
J

jellytots09

Member
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Jan 22, 2015
Messages
6
It does. I am feeling more relaxed than I did this morning. I do find the evenings more relaxing I dont know why but im not going to argue with it :)
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Jellytots, are you in the UK?
Have you spoken to your local council about applying for social housing?

Another thought, you could go into a Women's Refuge. They're not just for physical abuse, they're not just for abuse between partners - they accept any woman in an abusive situation in their home.
I went into one (because of my brother) and met another young woman in there who was escaping from her parents.

It's a big step and perhaps not something you'd think about, and that's ok. But it's always an option - you don't have to stay in that situation.

The thing is, even if your docs gave you the best counselling and the best medication, if you're home environment isn't right you're not going to make a lot of progress.
 
J

jellytots09

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Joined
Jan 22, 2015
Messages
6
I am feeling a bit better than I did the other week, still struggling at times but starting to feel slightly more confident.
Getting lots of help and looking after myself loads too! Going out today to buy myself new pilliows for my bed as I am sure I am not sleeping so well because they are not overly supportive!
Thank you everyone for your replies! It helped loads when I felt so bad. I have since opened up to one of my closest friends and I am a little bit better.
Thank you
Thank you
xx
 
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