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Hello , WOW where do I begin

IdontLikeBeer

IdontLikeBeer

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2021
Messages
14
Location
USA
I am in my 40's
I have not had a girlfriend, sex, a date in over 25 years.
I have Gynecomastia
I have a micro penis
I have bad teeth
I am about 40 pounds overweight
I do not look good
I hate the sound of my voice with a passion
( GOD FORBID that the universe give me something that I can actually like about my body)
When I was in school I had zero friends ( YES zero friends for all 18 years ! )
When I was in school I knew I would be a nobody in life without a family of my own
I wish all the people on the planet would disappear so nature can take over because I am also a misanthrope
I think the human race is a vile disgusting filthy plague on this planet
I am so far in the closed I have found Narnia ( I don't care if your male or female if someone actually showed an interest in me I think I'd be all theirs )
I once was about 9 or so and was reading magazines at the grocery store while my mom was shopping had this random woman come up to me and whisper in my ear " Your evil " HOW THE HELL do you ever forget something like that? It has haunted me my entire life.
I have fantasies about having sex with a female lion or a female husky dog
I like looking at YIFFY anthropomorphic porn
I wish I was an animal instead of a human
If I could move into the woods and never seen another human being again as long as I live I WOULD
I think so little of people that I think if any of my parents died I wouldn't even cry
The only reason I don't kill myself is because I couldn't do that to my mother.
I completely dropped religion in the blink of an eye and never looked back. ( so I don't even have that to look forward to anymore )

And I hate beer

HOW THE HELL does one function in society being this f'd up in the head?? My mind is a living nightmare !
 
IdontLikeBeer

IdontLikeBeer

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2021
Messages
14
Location
USA
I forgot to add ... does anyone literally have any clue what 25 years of lonliness does to a guys brain mentally? I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy ever ! I might of had too much information in my first post but I just wanted to stress the things that give me ZERO self confidence and no sense of being a "man" at all !
 
Maitri

Maitri

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
1,522
Location
UK
Sorry mate, I don't really know what to say.

You didn't know where to start, but you did start, so at least you know some things are possible. Small steps to start with I suppose. Look at what can be changed. Nothing spectacular.

No, I don't think we can ever know exactly how another feels mentally, we are all unique, but maybe we can understand in some ways from our own struggles. It has been so black at times for me that you can begin to doubt that there is a light.

At least keep on here, look around, read a few threads, make the effort to contribute. Believe in yourself.

But anyway, all the best, and.....:welcome:
 
IdontLikeBeer

IdontLikeBeer

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2021
Messages
14
Location
USA
Thank you , maybe I can look around the forums and find some ways to be positive. I have lost nearly all empathy for people but maybe there is hope. Last night after calling the cops on this homeless guy ( he was camping inside a public building somewhere where I did not feel safe approaching someone to ask them to move ) when he was outside talking to them I actually went out and gave him $20 and I never do that. I think maybe at this point in my life I should just try to make the best of things because I know all hope of happiness is gone.. doesn't give me the right to make others miserable.
 
S

Smiley0312

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Macomb, Michigan
Loneliness is a sad thing. It sucks to have no outlet or anyone to talk to. I’m sorry to hear all the things that bothered you but you recognize that you want company and help with what you’re going through. I hope that things turn around for you for the better! Hopefully you gain some comfort through this forum and know that there are others who can relate to you. Keep persevering. You’ve made it this far after all :)
 
B

basil and oregano

Former member
Joined
Nov 9, 2021
Messages
692
Location
Athens, Greece
We're all cooky @IdontLikeBeer, don't you worry! If you knew the people around you as well as you know yourself you'd be shocked at the similarity.

Welcome to the forum and hope you find lots of help and support in here!
 
H

healingwithyou

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Arlington ma
Thank you , maybe I can look around the forums and find some ways to be positive. I have lost nearly all empathy for people but maybe there is hope. Last night after calling the cops on this homeless guy ( he was camping inside a public building somewhere where I did not feel safe approaching someone to ask them to move ) when he was outside talking to them I actually went out and gave him $20 and I never do that. I think maybe at this point in my life I should just try to make the best of things because I know all hope of happiness is gone.. doesn't give me the right to make others miserable.
hello. I'm new on here but just want to say I'm glad that the part of you that still wants to engage somehow is on here and writing. I hope you're surprised and strengthened by the non judgmental love you'll receive from others here.
 
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