Hello to all.

[Lucretius]

Hi everyone,

I have literally just joined this wonderful forum and I’m hoping I get some help and guidance.

My wife has OCD which invades and controls every aspect of our lives. Believe it or not we have been living with this for nearly 20 years, but it’s now getting to the stage where every day is a challenge and I cannot go on like this. I had a ‘breakdown’ last year and had to have two months off work and a lot of therapy to recover. I have come to realise that the intolerable home situation was a large part (although not all) of the breakdown. It desperately needs sorting but it seems impossible when your partner actively makes it SO hard to approach the subject.

I don't want to relate my whole story on my first post, but I'd welcome some guidance on how to proceed on the forum to start getting support from fellow members.

 

[RayHendrix]

Hi Lucretius Welcome to the forum!
I don´t really have experience with something like this and doubt I can be very helpfull. Sounds like something very difficult to cope with. Maybe someone else here has more to offer
Are you still in Therapy? Don´t forget to watch after yourself Your mental-health is as important

 

[JessisMe]

Hi Lucretius it sounds like your home life has a lot of stressors in it. I’m so sorry for that. Have you and your wife tried couples counseling? I would think with your breakdown last year she would be receptive to doing anything that would help get you back to feeling better again. Have you ever talked with her about how her OCD affects you at all?

 

[Lucretius]

Hi Lucretius Welcome to the forum!
I don´t really have experience with something like this and doubt I can be very helpfull. Sounds like something very difficult to cope with. Maybe someone else here has more to offer
Are you still in Therapy? Don´t forget to watch after yourself Your mental-health is as important

Thank you for your encouraging words. I am having a small amount of therapy provided by employer but that will stop soon. I may well seek out longer term therapy privately as I can't help my wife solve her issues unless I have some support myself.

 

[Lucretius]

Hi Lucretius it sounds like your home life has a lot of stressors in it. I’m so sorry for that. Have you and your wife tried couples counseling? I would think with your breakdown last year she would be receptive to doing anything that would help get you back to feeling better again. Have you ever talked with her about how her OCD affects you at all?

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately my wife is rather wrapped up in her own worries; OCD, anxiety, lockdown and lack of success trying for another child (therein lies another story). Sadly I seem to come way down the list. When I do bring up the subject of the OCD (like I'd did this morning) she gets angry, I then get angry, and it's very hard to get anywhere. She has agreed to get therapy but I have to organise it (she won't) so I have my doubts whether she really wants to change. I need a plan of action. Thanks it's helping to talk.

 

[UpnDwn1978]

Hi Lucretius welcome to the forum

 

[JeanPierre]

Welcome here!
I agree a child is not the answer.