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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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lalune96

lalune96

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Hi, my name is Andrea. I’m 24 and I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder in 2017. I have been dealing with depression since middle school, but never fully understood what anxiety or borderline was until 2017 when I was first hospitalized for thoughts of self harming. I get distracted often/attention/routine issues, have random mood swings, and tend to internalize more than I talk about.
I wanted to find a place where I could talk with other people who understood what living with borderline personality disorder was like. When I was first diagnosed, I had very little information about this disorder; although I am more educated now, I still feel as if I don’t completely understand it or myself.
My relationships both romantic and platonic are usually short-lived. I do have friends that I still stick with, but I have gotten into the habit of burning bridges with people when there’s a major problem or even when they seem to disregard/don’t understand my feelings.
Recently I have been feeling overwhelmed with the lack of understanding and empathy from people in my life. I had a “friend” with bipolar disorder who said that I had major mental health issues behind my back to my boyfriend and I felt betrayed because she seemed to treat me nicely to my face only to turn around and bad mouth me for something that I am still working to understand on my own. In the past I have had friends who have tried to “help” me, only to abandon me because I “seemed like I didn’t want to get better”. These “friends” would put immense pressure on me to improve my mental health even when I insisted I needed to do it on my own time. Romantic partners tend to understand me even less.
Over the years I have realized that I tend to operate best when I isolate myself. I have also found that I cannot simply force myself to get better or do certain things to improve my mental health unless I want to; I am only up to doing something when I am completely ready and tend to shut down when people are forcing their opinions on me and demanding that I do something about my mental health right now. This is how I’ve lost my friends in the past because they think they could directly take action in MY life without my go ahead. I have had a “friend” call the police to take me to a hospital just because I was having a bad mental health day and felt like self harming. However I did not self harm and have not done so since I was 18.
I hope to read about and communicate with others who understand having to isolate because of a lack of empathy over their mental health. I hope to communicate with others who live with borderline personality disorder and hopefully come to a better understanding.
 
lalune96

lalune96

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Forgot to add this, but I have been repeatedly told my whole life that I am over emotional. Does this happen to anyone too?
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
5,852
Location
Norway
Hi Andrea and welcome to the forums :welcome:

While I personally can't relate to having BPD (I'm Bipolar), I'm sure you will find many other with similar experiences on this site.
 
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