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Hello... Not sure how or where to start?

R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
Hi.
I've never been on a forum like this before and I'm not sure how or where to start really.
All I know is I cannot go on feeling like I do and the ups and downs I feel (mainly downs) are getting too frequent.
I don't feel suicidal or anything but I feel so sad, low and fed up everyday.
 
Monroe1980

Monroe1980

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2014
Messages
148
Location
Ireland
:welcome: Rach

Hope it helps to share on here.
 
R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
I'm not sure how to even begin.

Oh and thanks for the welcome.
 
V

voyager

Guest
Hi Rach, pleased to meet you. Just make a few posts wherever you feel like and you will get known by people. :)
 
A

Azalea

Active member
Joined
Jul 21, 2014
Messages
28
Location
Lancashire
Hi rach
Have you seen your doctor and talked to them?
I feel very much like you mainly feeling low and weepy, when my mood crashes I loose interest in everything and from there it's just been one big downward spiral. I went and saw my doctor, she listened and gave me a number for counselling and also a prescription for anti depressants. I haven't take either of them up yet for my own reasons but if I feel I can't get out of this myself then they are there as a back up.
Big hugs x
 
R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
Hi.
Yes I have been to the doctors... I have been on citalopram for many, many years- since my teenage years and I'm now 35.
This has been something I've been struggling with for a long time.
I am currently on 30mg a day.
The problem with my situation is it's not one thing as such, but a series of events, feelings and situations that have made me who I am and now I feel like this is me forever.
I feel sick nearly every day, and cry nearly everyday and that's not good.
 
F

fair&square75

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2014
Messages
166
Location
England
Hi Rach1 welcome to the forum:) I'm newish too...i was just thinking,I know everyone is different,but 30mg is a low dose and might not work for you anymore,when I've been on antidepressants I always find they need upping...sorry I'm not of much use,I'm still a bit sleepy,but keep posting there's lots of people here who get you and are only too happy to help cos we've all been there or are still there,lots of luv to you x
 
R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
Probably a trip to the doctors is needed... I've been on the same dose for a while now.
:scratcheshead:
In a nut shell, I generally feel,very low and have always been a glass half empty person but sometimes an event will occur that triggers a massive dip and a huge surge of feeling overwhelmed.
Yesterday the trigger was a 'chat' at work. One of those 'can I have a minute' kinda chats.
Then what I do is build it up and up until I can barely think or breathe and go thru scenarios in my head... Imagining what will happen today.
So, we get to this morning and now I dint want to go to work, I feel sick, i can't eat my breakfast and all I want to do is curl up at home and hide.
 
R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
Well, gotta bite the bullet and go to work.
Hopefully I'll get thru the day, but right now I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
 
F

fair&square75

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2014
Messages
166
Location
England
Bless you Rach,it must be awful when you have to go to work like that :/ it's sounds like you have alot of anxiety too, I've been the same for yrs now,I always find I get better then it comes back then sometimes I'll be bk to square one where its hard to keep being like that :/ do you work fulltime? X
 
F

fair&square75

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2014
Messages
166
Location
England
Let us know how you get on Rach,hope you feel a little better by later but if not I'd be pulling a sickie...lol am naughty me so maybe my advice isn't very good,but just you getting up & ready is a good thing in itself :) x
 
R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
Hi.
Well, work was ok... I'm not gonna say good cause it wasn't.
I have spoken to my boss about yesterday and also talked to her about how I feel and how I deal with situations e.g. My anxiety and depression etc. she was really nice.
It will take me a few days to get over it caus that's just what I'm like. I also have to be really careful that I don't build it up into a situation where I a) end up disliking her just cause she had feedback for me or b) where paranoia sets in and I start to think everyone is watching me, talking about me.
At the moment it seems the paranoia is the more likely of the two, and it's starting to rear it's ugly head but I'm gonna try and keep it in check.
I also need to think about how I deal with constructive feedback at work (and feedback in life I guess) as I can't just have a hissy fit whenever I get it.
But it's so hard and one of my traits is to really beat myself up about any negative comments to the point where they become all consuming and I can barely breathe.
 
R

rach1

Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
8
Good morning all.
Again I feel sick about going to work today but I cannot fathom why.
Well, that's not strictly true... It's due to my paranoia working overtime and my thinking that people have been discussing me whilst I am not there.
Last night I didn't sleep well due to the high winds in our area... Windy weather is a trigger for me as I get very worried about things blowing around etc.
I'm so hoping that this will pass, as I dint want to start feeling shit about a job I was really enjoying just cause of one little issue.
I'm toying with the idea of booking a DRs appt in the new year with the doctor I trust at my surgery and talking about my meds.
I'm wondering if it's time for a change?
It's very difficult to get an appt with him tho... The receptionists are a bit unhelpful at times. This makes me too scared to call. Which in turn exasperates the circle I'm currently in.
One thing I am finding a bit helpful tho is just coming on here and writing it all down... And reading about other peoples experiences.
Maybe I could start a journal?
Does anyone else finding writing it down helps?
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
Hi and welcome to the forum rach xxx
 
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