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Hello /Need to talk

S

SuperPancake

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Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well, and for those who are not, I wish you will soon :)
I'm 28yo, I am a dentist. I need to talk about something and if you can, please give me ur opinions i will deeply appreciate it.

There is a guy that let's say our families know each other. I had seen him a couple of times, but that's allo. He is blind from birth. He needed a dentist because his previous retired so his parents though of me. He had quite a bad experience because he broke a tooth and we needed several appointments to do root canal treatment and a crown. He was scared but he was trying to control it. I was never before in such a close distance with a blind person. He invited me to his place and we had dinner with his parents. We went to his room, i was impressed on how technology does help him to get around, from braille books to voice control in his computer. He asked me if he could touch my face. I suppose this helped him to understand how I look? I didnt know how should I react for him to feel comfortable. We see each other from day to day or we chat from messenger. I do feel uncomfortable that what i type is pronounced by an electronic device though. I cant figure if i have an interest that's deeper from just caring for someone. This guy (I feel) wants/needs to receive love. Even if i touch his hand when we listen to music I receive the feedback. I dont know what to do and what I feel..
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Welcome

You can't have a relationship with this person whilst they are a patient. I don't think you should go to their house again, maybe also not treat them and pass them to a colleague?

What do you think?

I don't know how long the time break needs to be between being a patient and possibly dating someone, but i would think a year. I have no idea.
 
S

SuperPancake

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Well.. this is correct although his treatment is done.. and actually i didnt even charge him for anything because he's a family friend. So unless something urgent happens, he will only return in 6 months or a year for a check up..

and i'm not sure if i'm dating. It's more like we're hanging out. To date, we haven't said anything "romantic". I just take pleasure from watching him be happy when i take him out for a coffee.
 
Bod

Bod

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Welcome, I have to agree with Tawny when they said you should NOT go to the house again even if you think it is hanging out together. Explain to them that you can't see them out of work as it could be wrong.
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

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I see nothing wrong with enjoying each others company. I am sure he doesnt get that kind of attention often.
 
B

BrainDrained

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I agree with the last post. Make his day/life and don't let stupid rules take away any possibility of love or even just friendship. I say go wherever you heart takes you and rules be damned. You probably have no idea how much he enjoys just your company and companionship. Pretty sure you're allowed to have friends. That's my two cents.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Well.. this is correct although his treatment is done.. and actually i didnt even charge him for anything because he's a family friend. So unless something urgent happens, he will only return in 6 months or a year for a check up..

and i'm not sure if i'm dating. It's more like we're hanging out. To date, we haven't said anything "romantic". I just take pleasure from watching him be happy when i take him out for a coffee.
You are talking yourself into it being ok

This person is still your patient

You are saying 'we'

It sounds unprofessional so my only concern is you losing your job/registration, as this happens all of the time. You are risking your career but you maybe don't want to hear that?
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hello SuperPancake, welcome to the forum.
 
S

SuperPancake

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Hello Anime Alchemy (fullmetal alchemist fan?). I like ur avatar

@Tawny i don't think i could lose my registration or something. I think it's difficult to draw a line to when a dental patient is actually your patient right now. Like, if i was his psychiatrist (if he had one) that would be really bad, but now we dont have any professional relation. Plus his family was friendly to ours, I know him from whence we were children so why can't he be a friend that needed my medicine and he has to be a patient that can't be a friend?

Plus, he is quite lonely, I do like his company, would't it be sad if i just quitted him?
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

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I agree.
If you were his therapist or psychiatrist it would be quite different. But you were simply his dentist.
I would continue with the relationship and see where it takes you. It probably means the world to him.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Hello Anime Alchemy (fullmetal alchemist fan?). I like ur avatar

@Tawny i don't think i could lose my registration or something. I think it's difficult to draw a line to when a dental patient is actually your patient right now. Like, if i was his psychiatrist (if he had one) that would be really bad, but now we dont have any professional relation. Plus his family was friendly to ours, I know him from whence we were children so why can't he be a friend that needed my medicine and he has to be a patient that can't be a friend?

Plus, he is quite lonely, I do like his company, would't it be sad if i just quitted him?
I didn't think you were discussing friendship but possibly more, but just friendship is fine. It is also a bit risky if he is classed as a vulnerable adult, but i don't know much about that definition, perhaps blindness is not included.

As long as it doesn't go any further, it is fine. No accidental kiss or any touching, i am sorry if that is far from what was in your mind, maybe i have read your initial post wrong, i am sorry for that.
 
Bluejay7500

Bluejay7500

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That’s interesting that your confused about what your feeling. It sounds like you guys made some sort of a connection, has he expressed to you how he feels about you. It could make the relationship go easier if you or he opened up. I’m happy for you that you made this connection. I hope you two form a good relationship.
 
S

SuperPancake

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@Tawny i'm not so sure off what I feel. Can it be somethinng between friendship and lovers? He makes me happy. So far i haven't thought of something sexual, but i think of him. I always loved him but that's strange. I would mostly hear from him, never directly talk to him (we wouldn't meet). His mother is my godmother but they lived far away. I would see her a couple of times per year but it was as she was always there. So him her son, I loved him for that. So I can say I love him as I love his parents. When he smiles, i'm happy. I'm bi and i don't know if he's gay. I don't even know how different the sexual perception can be for a blind person. A guy called us faggots in the street because i was holding him from the arm.. couldnn't he see that he is blind an he needed guidance?

The whole thing is weird tho. Not in a negative way, just weird. I'm a little scared to touch him because he could be scared so I ask him if i can touch him. I like being around him.
 
J

JayP75

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India
I would say yes and no both...
There is a very thin thread between liking someone and having a special place for them in your life. He is blind you as a good person feeling sorry for him in such situation is totally understandable but you need to figure it out what it is firs of all.

If you like him as a person yes
If you are feeling sorry for him being blind.. hell no
 
S

SuperPancake

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@JayP75
It just hurts to see him vulnerable. And because i feel he is, i do want to protect him and keep him safe. He is so likeable as a person, he is kind. And kindness is so rare. I don't pity him of course. But at the same time i have a weird thought.. i like hanging out with him but I have other options, i just prefer him. But does he? Does he want to be friends with him or it's a beggars can't be choosers thing?
 
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