- Nov 30, 2021
Hey.. I'm 29. I had a friend from when I was 6 to 18. We have the same age. We were best friends. I was bullied for being a Jew he was the only one to sit next to me at school (at primary school). Later that stopped (we moved to junior high school nobody bothered about me being Jew). I started working out (boxing) I was tall and strong. From a point on he was bullied for being a good student or something. I defended him. I also have haemophilia. Not something serious but from time to time I have some bleeding events. He had leukemia for 2 years. He would be treated and I would be there for him (around 14yo). We would make some black jokes about me being poor (having no red blood cells due to haemorrhage) and him being so rich (having millions of white cells due to leukemia) and we were even hospitalized in the same room. But we recovered and moved on. At 18 I tried to kiss him. He told me that he was str8 and he had a gf (a classmate of ours). But that wasn't true. I got angry and I told him he neednt have lied etc. We fought, we hurt each other. Something broke inside me. I would always be the one to protect him. A year ago my father passed. He came to the funeral although he never approached me. Some weeks ago he gave me his card. He saw me by chance. He was scared, I was upset. Eventually we met again. We cried the hell out of us. However I am confused. We are as we were back then. We sleep together almost every night. I hug him tight. I'm not so sure if it's sexual. What could that be? And I feel a pain in my chest (metaphorically speaking). Even thoough we have forgiven each other, can a trauma still be there?