Hello - Navigating spiritual experiences

[consciousnessdetective]

Hi, everyone. I joined because I'm currently navigating/excavating some rough seas again of spiritual /internal experiences. I'm coming into more awareness about what went wrong, and just trying to figure things out. Seeing that there is nothing wrong with us as we are deep down.

I'd love to call myself some kind of a mystic, but I think right now this username is more appropriate

About me:
Ex Christian
Sort of ex-atheist
Have been medicated for major depression and severe anxiety for about 2-3 years, on/off psychotherapy since 2013.
Meditator, but probably formerly now.

Thanks x
CD

 

[Daringdan]

Welcome,
Godspeed to you and your mystical adventures.

 

[consciousnessdetective]

Welcome,
Godspeed to you and your mystical adventures.

I wish it helped more than it hurt, ha.
Thanks

 

[soul searching]

Are you talking to your psychiatrist or therapist about this? Are you trying to understand yourself better? Memories that are painful, sometimes need to be looked at again so that you can learn from mistakes, forgive yourself for any wrong doings-is that what you mean?

 

[consciousnessdetective]

Are you talking to your psychiatrist or therapist about this? Are you trying to understand yourself better? Memories that are painful, sometimes need to be looked at again so that you can learn from mistakes, forgive yourself for any wrong doings-is that what you mean?

Hey,
Thanks for your questions-
Not yet, but I've considered talking to former therapist, or nondual/self inquiry therapist who understands spiritual things. It's more like a spiritual emergency I've been going through off and on for the past couple of years.
I also think that yes, some of it has to do with processing painful buried emotions.

 

[soul searching]

A therapist might be just what you need. I don't understand what you mean by "spiritual emergency"- Maybe you are having some kind of spiritual awakening or growth?

 

[consciousnessdetective]

A therapist might be just what you need. I don't understand what you mean by "spiritual emergency"- Maybe you are having some kind of spiritual awakening or growth?

Hi,

Though I could be in the wrong about my experiences being anything “spiritual” I had a triggered “dark night“ from trauma about 2 years ago. This then reflected other unresolved trauma in my life so, I’m continuing the process of sorting it out...unfortunately my psychiatrist and last therapist were a short term program. And I feel the strong need to write/heal myself as I ride it out...hope that makes sense. I promise I’m safe and cared for, just a little isolated now.

 

[soul searching]

Sorry you had such bad experiences. This is a great safe place to talk/write.

 

[dewey]

What spiritual experiences have you been having? Can you go into more detail?
Spiritual experiences are generally terrifying (for me any way). I think there is a fine line between spiritual experience and hallucination/being mentally ill, so I don't particularly like them.
It is interesting that you write of these things, though.
Also interesting that you say you are ex-Christian, ex-Atheist, what would you say you are now?

 

[consciousnessdetective]

What spiritual experiences have you been having? Can you go into more detail?
Spiritual experiences are generally terrifying (for me any way). I think there is a fine line between spiritual experience and hallucination/being mentally ill, so I don't particularly like them.
It is interesting that you write of these things, though.
Also interesting that you say you are ex-Christian, ex-Atheist, what would you say you are now?

Hey,
A lot of them are hallucinations, because they are hypnagogia at night and really bad upon waking up. But I have seen some things "in there" like scenes, places I could "go" etc. I used to be a big meditator, and have had a really brief semi or pseudo non dual experience, and like heart and earth fullness experiences...

Mostly what I hear are things like "get out/move away" "you're this, you're that" and other chatter through the day. But this is like this big underlying stream of things being said I can't always hear. Sometimes I pick up nasty stuff and others helpful. But I don't consider them "guides" because it the past that just made me feel worse.

And I'm not sure what I'd call myself now.

 

[soul searching]

Had to look up "hypnagogia"-it sounds very similar to a hallucination. In any case it is made up by your brain, like you said. I would only perceive it as a spiritual phenomenon if it is helpful to you. If its not helpful, its most likely not a spiritual experience, those are supposed to be helpful only.
The voices during the day sound a lot like schizophrenia(what I have). Those voices can be very mean. You should ignore them as much as possible. Are you seeing a psychiatrist, meds might be helpful. Hope this is helpful