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Hello, my wife has had a breakdown and I don't know where to start..



New member
Jun 19, 2017

My name's Jason, I've come here to see if anyone can help me on where to start following my wife's mental breakdown.
She has now lost her job, been assessed, is very depressed. The mortgage needs paying I can't do it on my own. The clock is ticking both for her and for our home.
I would like to know if she can be signed off from work (unable to work) and get paid, she is in no state for job hunting, interviews etc.
Can she get government sick pay for want of a better expression?
I don't know who to talk to first, what department , don't know where to start and starting to feel a little sad myself. But I've got to stay on top, we have 16 year old now doing exams, it couldn't be any worse.
I'm quite a private person not really one for divulging this sort of thing but I guess the fact that I'm here tells me quite a lot..
Any help would be most welcome
Thank you.


Well-known member
Oct 9, 2016
Hi Jason,

I'm very sorry to hear of your wife's ill health and the subsequent dilemma you've been placed in.

Whereabouts do you live? In the UK she could claim ESA, but its only around £73 pw.

It can take a long time to recover from a breakdown but with medication, counselling and support it is possible.

Maybe you could make an appointment with CAB (in the UK). I'm sure they would be able to advise you.

My best wishes


Sep 30, 2019
Hi Jason. Welcome to MHF. It sounds rough to go through all you are right now with your wife having a mental breakdown. Getting your wife into a treatment situation would be a good alternative. And do not forget yourself. You need self care and to find ways to nurture yourself and reduce your stress in positive ways. Support groups may help. A counselor may help too.

What about finding a person to talk with or a journal to write in all the possible options to keep you in your home? Sometimes a home equity loan is able to be arranged with bank using the equity in your home as collateral for a loan that is basically a second mortgage. Maybe relatives will help you a bit. Some start a go fund me page on a gofundme site and raise enough to get by.

Of course there are times when not much will help and so selling the house and living in an apartment might help reduce the stress. As a last resort, a reverse mortgage keeps you in your home and the company gives you or the entity that holds your mortgage a percentage of what the home is worth. This is usually a lot worse than selling because you do not get full value and you lose any appreciation of the home, plus when you die or move out the mortgage company owns the property.