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Hello! Just started my journey with depression *trigger warning

M

MIraBk

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Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
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Location
Europe
Hey guys! I'm new here and figured it's best to introduce myself first. I'm 25 years old, from a country where mental health issues is a reason for shame. I've been an addict all my life.. Never thought it would get to me but it finally did. Coming from a disfunctional family, it was hard to manage my issues-some which i wasn't really aware of in the first place- so i filled the void with poison. First, it was adrenaline, then sugar, alcohol, smoking, weed and finally.. hard ones, stimulents. Suffering from anxiety from an early age, drugs were my "fix" for pain. I regret it terribly and this year has been livinghell... A friend of mine comitted suicide and another almost fight me for real at the start of the year. Being in my last year of college, all the stress was added to drugs and my personal issues. I had to move to my parents' house when the Corona pandemic started and it all went to hell. I suffered from a post acute withdrawl with psychosis. I had a history with smoking weed but was really a starter when it comes to stimulents and i don't know, i wanted to self destruct so badly, i didn't think of consequences. I guess i wanted to kill myself. Sooo... It started with severe anxiety and insomnia, shivers, the psychotic break in the middle and ended up with a severe episode of depression where i tried to kill myself twice. My oficial diagnostic is depression.. And i tell you, it hit me hard. I didn't know it can be that severe. I couldn't talk, my memory was lost, shattered into pieces, personal hygiene was lost. Even my face shifted, i could not feel a thing. Had no feelings whatsoever. Sooo... I'm trying to recover now, i have my last exam in september and i wanted to join a forum so i could read others' experiences and more important, if you could share how you cope with depression. My psychiatrist said the depression is gonna pass and the difficult part is the addiction, but i'm not that sure... I am really scared of depression right now, like, really scared of suicide thoughts and insomnia and the feeling of Nothing. So if someone has some similar experiences that would help a lot, or knows someone with substance abuse i missues. Moreover, how do you cope with depression in your daily life. Thanks!
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya and welcome to the forum. I also have suffered with depression where I couldn't function normally at all. My brain was mush, I felt trapped and had bad headaches from the stress of it. I found going out terribly difficult and couldn't seem to take personal hygiene seriously - everything was too much effort. I really understand and know how debilitating it can be.

I went on lots of different anti depressants until they found the right ones for me. It took time. I also had therapy which helped immensely with how I was feeling and how to cope with my experiences. I was suicidal at one point and attempted it and nearly died. I am SO glad I didn't succeed now. When depression is that bad you really need outside help with it all.

As for the addictions, I know very little about that I'm afraid. Do they have help with that in your country that you can go to? What are you taking exams in? I hope you find support and help here with your problems.
 
M

MIraBk

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
14
Location
Europe
Hiya and welcome to the forum. I also have suffered with depression where I couldn't function normally at all. My brain was mush, I felt trapped and had bad headaches from the stress of it. I found going out terribly difficult and couldn't seem to take personal hygiene seriously - everything was too much effort. I really understand and know how debilitating it can be.

I went on lots of different anti depressants until they found the right ones for me. It took time. I also had therapy which helped immensely with how I was feeling and how to cope with my experiences. I was suicidal at one point and attempted it and nearly died. I am SO glad I didn't succeed now. When depression is that bad you really need outside help with it all.

As for the addictions, I know very little about that I'm afraid. Do they have help with that in your country that you can go to? What are you taking exams in? I hope you find support and help here with your problems.
Hey, it was the same for me with medication too! I'm currently on Venlafaxine and it works wonders. Unfortunately i cannot go to a rehab center because we don't have too many. I studied medicine-i know, ironic. The memory problem is actually getting better and better and in a weird way, i feel like i know medicine better. Thank you for your answer!
 
calypso

calypso

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Keep going with the anti depressants, I liked Venlafaxine personally although I know others didn't. It all depends on your body and how you react to medicines - what works for one won't for another. Have you ever tried Mindfulness? Its not a quick fix for problems but it can help with life over time. You will have to look it up to get the more in depth understanding but we have a very brief intro on here.

 
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