- Aug 9, 2020
Hey guys! I'm new here and figured it's best to introduce myself first. I'm 25 years old, from a country where mental health issues is a reason for shame. I've been an addict all my life.. Never thought it would get to me but it finally did. Coming from a disfunctional family, it was hard to manage my issues-some which i wasn't really aware of in the first place- so i filled the void with poison. First, it was adrenaline, then sugar, alcohol, smoking, weed and finally.. hard ones, stimulents. Suffering from anxiety from an early age, drugs were my "fix" for pain. I regret it terribly and this year has been livinghell... A friend of mine comitted suicide and another almost fight me for real at the start of the year. Being in my last year of college, all the stress was added to drugs and my personal issues. I had to move to my parents' house when the Corona pandemic started and it all went to hell. I suffered from a post acute withdrawl with psychosis. I had a history with smoking weed but was really a starter when it comes to stimulents and i don't know, i wanted to self destruct so badly, i didn't think of consequences. I guess i wanted to kill myself. Sooo... It started with severe anxiety and insomnia, shivers, the psychotic break in the middle and ended up with a severe episode of depression where i tried to kill myself twice. My oficial diagnostic is depression.. And i tell you, it hit me hard. I didn't know it can be that severe. I couldn't talk, my memory was lost, shattered into pieces, personal hygiene was lost. Even my face shifted, i could not feel a thing. Had no feelings whatsoever. Sooo... I'm trying to recover now, i have my last exam in september and i wanted to join a forum so i could read others' experiences and more important, if you could share how you cope with depression. My psychiatrist said the depression is gonna pass and the difficult part is the addiction, but i'm not that sure... I am really scared of depression right now, like, really scared of suicide thoughts and insomnia and the feeling of Nothing. So if someone has some similar experiences that would help a lot, or knows someone with substance abuse i missues. Moreover, how do you cope with depression in your daily life. Thanks!