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Hello! I'm paralysed by anxiety and stress.

C

Cyclist

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2020
Messages
62
Location
Scotland
Hi, just joining this forum to see if anybody can offer words of wisdom.

I have always suffered from anxiety but never recognised it. Now I have dropped myself and my family deep into the incident pit, from which there is no escape as we slide further down the ever-steeper sides.

As briefly as possible I came into some cash so gave up my long held well-paid job and just as Covid began to arrive in February, embarked on a foolish build of a house far away from our cosy comfortable home further south. The build started but we were excited and we pressed on despite the warning signs, when we could have just put the plans on ice. Lockdown came but by then we were committed. Then new neighbours arrived and our previously tranquil life was ruined by noisy parties in the garden with cars, shouting men and screaming ill-behaved kids. We panicked and went into temporary accommodation near the plot, selling our comfortable home.

Now we are stuck, bored to death in a dingy holiday cottage that stinks of mouse urine, rotting mouse corpses and plagued by flies. Our son is at uni four hours drive away whereas before it was under an hour. Like many students he is bored, stressed and showing signs of depression.

Too late I have realised I have always suffered from Generalised Anxiety Disorder and was never in a fit state mentally to retire suddenly, leave a secure life, leave the family home and embark on a building project in a quiet rural community full of militant NIMBYs who hate incomers. This mistake is torturing me because of what it's done to me, my wife and our son. My heath is beginning to suffer and from an extremely fit competitive cyclist and mountaineer I have turned into a trembling wreck, 8 kilos of muscle bulk and fat reserves lost, my joints and tendons wrecked by Doxycycline and in a state of catastrophic stress from waking to bedtime. The new build is proceeding but I now think the house is too big, too showy and is swallowing my savings at a frightening rate.

So that's my complicated story. Anybody got any crumbs of hope? I'm on Mirtazapine, which is helping my mood but not my introspective misery. I need to develop a strategy for dealing with my remorse before I have a stroke, a heart attack or get cancer.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,000
Location
England
Hello Cyclist. Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about your home. To have to live in a home you are not happy in and to have horrible neighbours is horrible. It is good to hear the mitazapine is helping your mood. I think therapy may also be helpful. It will give you a chance to talk everything through.
 
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