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Hello. I'm new.

1

1forward2back

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Scotland, UK
Hello to all.
Long-term agoraphobic due to anxiety and associated issues with avoidance plus dependency on meds (that don't work often now anyway because of the length of time used... and admittedly, abused.)
I'm here because I read some posts and decided this might be a good place to start.
Had a 2 year course of analytical behavioural therapy that concluded my "agoraphobia is a lifestyle choice", which was not really helpful. Of course I know it's not!
I get out some days. Currently about one day a week (a walk to get meds though I go roundabout on my way back.)
Sometimes, I've been able to get out with the one of the kids/youngsters and I was able to attend a walking group, weekly (well, 4 of 8 sessions) last year but have since withdrawn even further.
Got an exercise bike but recent months of low energy seem to have depleted what little fitness level I had left. I can't take the pain that follows a session of a few km. Getting weaker and more depressed as time goes on.
I don't want this any more.
It used to be okay for me, staying in the house but using meds to get out with family on occasions/opportunities that arose.
Lockdowns were when it became too much to cope with. Every person in the street also staying home and often cutting grass and doing garden improvements. It suddenly became distressing and I couldn't get out to mow my own lawn, because it was too busy/ schools were off etc.
I am pretty much bedridden most days. It's my partner's birthday today and I had to get my son to get me a card for her! Losing weight, sleep and just feel like a useless burden, dragging everyone down. Holidays are a source of dread. I used alcohol pretty much daily from 2018. (Stopping that was no walk in park so that's another broken crutch.)
Anyway, trying to find the positives is very hard now.
I'm still working towards things/activities but it's very hard to commit and when I can't attend, it's all the more depressing.
Hopefully, here, I may find some inspiration.
Ideally, I'd like to be helpful too. Just don't know how yet!

Right. Now I have to see about getting appetite for a birthday meal.
Glad to be here and hope to get familiar with stuff later. Haven't even read the rules yet!!

So, hi and thanks and good luck to all. :)
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
5,774
Location
Planet POSITIVE
Hello and welcome to the forum, I hope you can settle in ok as everyone can be so helpful and caring. Maybe have a look around and try and post once you feel up to it.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
6,951
Location
A comet
Hello 1forward2back, welcome to the forum.
 
LearntheEssentials

LearntheEssentials

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2021
Messages
309
Location
Germany
Hello, new. Welcome to the forum!
Im sorry for that awfull joke, i had to bring it :LOL:

Jokes aside, welcome to the forums, im sure you will enjoy it here!

-LTE
 
1

1forward2back

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Scotland, UK
Hello and welcome to the forum, I hope you can settle in ok as everyone can be so helpful and caring. Maybe have a look around and try and post once you feel up to it.
Thanks Bod. :)
Yes, I'll have a look around and check out rules and guidelines. I do hope to post, once I feel up to it. Just about running out of social "juice" already, after my lengthy intro! But just nipped back on while we wait on a delivery of a nice Italian meal for my better half's birthday. Thankfully, she didn't feel like going out to eat and most places, though open again, have retained their delivery services.
So, yeah, trying to relax and get hungry so we can all enjoy a family meal and chat. Such a simple thing but sometimes it's even tough to do that? I feel dissociated much of the time so often my chat is stunted. It feels like I don't live in real time. Totally weird and my family deserve better.
Anyway, appetite is rising and I hope to enjoy my meal.

Probably won't sleep much tonight so I'll at least be able to "hang out" in here, even if I don't feel like posting anything specific.

It's good. Nice atmosphere. Very welcoming indeed.

Thanks all. :peace:
 
LaFong

LaFong

Active member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
35
Location
New York
Hi, @1forward2back and welcome! I'm relatively new here myself. I think you'll quickly come to see that, in here, you are among some of the friendliest, empathetic and helpful people you'll ever meet.
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
5,774
Location
Planet POSITIVE
This forum means so much to me as it is like one big happy loving and caring family as we can all understand each other and can then try and help.
 
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