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Hello. Im new. Introduction and back story.



New member
Dec 7, 2014
(Firstly, apologies if I have posted this in the wrong place)

Hello I am CocaKoala and I am 24 years old and male.

I decided to sign up to this forum website to try and see how discussing mental health can benefit me and/or others.

I don't think I can cover everything in one post, perhaps over time I can open up and discuss certain things at my own pace rather than trying to just unload everything in one go.

But anyways...

I think majority of the issues I am facing at the moment may have started when I was 18 and was attacked my a group of strangers. I was attacked quite bad, left with a few scars but nothing physically serious. It involved me having to go to court and overall from beginning to end lasted about a year until I felt it was all finished with.

This is when I guess I started to shut myself off from things, started losing contact with friends and isolating myself a bit more.

I guess I didn't really notice the seriousness that this had on my life until quite a while after when I could compare what I was like then with what I was like before it happened.

I sort of just started to adapt to this quieter, more cautious life I had ended making for myself.

Later on I had a close friend who decided to go travelling. I was quite upset about it but very happy for him. I felt I didn't have the confidence to travel with him and desperately didn't want him to leave me, but still didn't want to stop him.
Anyway he left and we kept in contact from time to time, but our conversations became fewer and fewer.
Until one day (about a year after he left) I decided that I would take a month to go and visit him, try the whole travelling thing and then come back home.

That didn't quite go to plan though... He went to Australia so I saved up months and months worth of pay to afford the flights and then spending money which was quite a lot.
And I booked a month to go.
We discussed it and we were both very excited, we planned different things that we could do and we started talking much more frequently.

So I got to Australia, the plan was he would meet me when I got there but with some change of circumstances I ended up staying in Sydney for 2 days before I would travel by myself to meet up with him in Tasmania. This change of plan happened maybe a week before I was set to leave, so I had to go with it. When I got to Sydney my Anxiety level was through the roof. I had several really severe panic attacks and was confined to the hotel room for quite a while. I managed one long walk round Sydney before going back to the hotel and breaking down and having more panic attacks. Anyway in the end I had to phone my dad who managed to call the airport and get an exchange on the flight so I could come home. All I had to do was get back to the airport.

So I got home. Never did meet my friend. And now we haven't spoken for quite a while.

I went all the way from England to Sydney for a weekend.... incredible.

I then tried to pick myself back up, found myself a new job and started to carry on with my quiet anti social life once again.

This time my job was something I actually enjoy and care about. Which was animal care for rescue animals. (I am still in this job today)

I have made new friends in this job and they seem to like me which is great.


(there is always a but)

After about 8 months into the job I got rather seriously attacked by a dog on my right forearm and hand. I had to spend quite a few days in hospital and have operations. I was extremely lucky to not have lost my hand or even my life if it had attacked me somewhere else and I do have full function of my hand and arm back. It had been about 7 months since it happened but my wrist is a little sore still, but I do have cool scars to make me look tougher!
Anyway, naturally this has completely shattered my confidence, especially around the dogs at work.
Work has been great with helping me and supporting me and I am slowly improving and handling dogs again. But the anxiety at times is insane.

After it happened I seemed to put on some sort of front, I think over time I have found away to hide how I am feeling so people don't notice.
It wasn't until about 2 month ago that things got a little too much and I broke down a little at work and that is when people started to see how I was really feeling.

To me this last incident is still quite recent so I am still working out the full effects it has had on me.

So yeh, overall these are the 3 main things that have happened to me which seems to have had quite a negative outcome on me. I seemed to be running out of steam now. It's about 1.40 am and feel I cant type much more.

Thank you to anyone who has read this. I'm hoping to discuss smaller chunks a bit more in depth at later dates to try and help myself a little.
I actually already feel better just for typing this post.

I am also hoping to help others by listening and discussing anything that may be troubling them.

Thanks again for reading.


Well-known member
Dec 15, 2008
Welcome to the forums, I hope you enjoy it here. Its a bit quiet tonight but hope you get responses in the morning.

You have been through quite a lot that would knock your confidence. The attack by a group of strangers must have been horrific for you (((((hugs)))) also would have made anyone ill I think, also again the dog attack.

Have you ever had and counselling for this? I think it would help to talk about your fears and anxieties - I would definitely try.

I think its a natural way of dealing with these situations if you haven;t had the support you need. I know you said you have support at work, but you must feel anxious over handling the dogs now I would be too.

Wow Australia in a weekend! It can;t of been nice to be so far away from home and get panic attacks, at least your dad managed to get you a flight back straight away, but well done for going and handling the flight time, thats a big thing in itself.

Sorry you have kind of lost touch with that friend now.

I hope that things get a little easier for you as time goes on, but please try to keep talking and try to get some counselling for these issues.

Good luck and I hope you find the forum helpful

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