• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Hello, I'm new here

A

AnxiousAnna

Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Pula
Hi, I'm new on this forum. I'm here because I suffer from anxiety which is lately getting more and more severe. I also suffer from panic attacks and low self-esteem. I tried to go to two different therapists but unfortunately conversations with them weren't of any help. I'm here because I need someone to talk to who could understand me because I don't know what else to do anymore. Half of the time I'm either shaking or having stomachaches and honestly I'm thinking more and more about escaping from everyone and just being on my own as a way of calming my anxiety.

Anyways, sorry if my English is bad, I'm not fluent.
 
Lady in Blue

Lady in Blue

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
74
Location
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Hi, Anxious Anna. Actually your English is very good; I would not have guessed that you weren't fluent in the language. I can identify with your anxiety, as well as the low self esteem that can result when seeing therapists who can be clinically detached and difficult to develop a rapport with. I've felt self conscious, ashamed and embarrassed more that once on my road to therapy. Panic attacks are dreadful; it can make you feel like you are going to either die or go crazy. Some paramedics have treated me with far more empathy and respect than some emergency room doctors or psychologists. The social isolation is a double bind situation. I'm speaking for myself, of course, but it seems that you are in a similar situation in that we are both stressed out by social/interpersonal interaction but on the other hand have a need for it. This forum can be a safe, intermediate step.
 
A

AnxiousAnna

Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Pula
Hi, Anxious Anna. Actually your English is very good; I would not have guessed that you weren't fluent in the language. I can identify with your anxiety, as well as the low self esteem that can result when seeing therapists who can be clinically detached and difficult to develop a rapport with. I've felt self conscious, ashamed and embarrassed more that once on my road to therapy. Panic attacks are dreadful; it can make you feel like you are going to either die or go crazy. Some paramedics have treated me with far more empathy and respect than some emergency room doctors or psychologists. The social isolation is a double bind situation. I'm speaking for myself, of course, but it seems that you are in a similar situation in that we are both stressed out by social/interpersonal interaction but on the other hand have a need for it. This forum can be a safe, intermediate step.
Thank you for your answer, Lady in Blue. I'm burdened with relationships between important people in my life. First it was between my parents, now it's between my mother and my boyfriend. I try to keep everyone together, happy and pleased even if it hurts me because important people in my life hating each other and saying mean things about one another to me hurts me more.

I haven't had much luck with my therapists. The first one scared me and kept convincing me I should isolate myself from my family and the second one kept insisting I was doing great, so much better compared to when I first starting seeing here. That was because she always talked to me about what new things happened to me that week and she never focused on the problems that urged me to start seeing her in the first place.
 
Lady in Blue

Lady in Blue

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
74
Location
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
"Blessed are the peacemakers" - a very difficult role to play. It sounds as if you are sensitized and vicariously (as an observer) traumatized by interpersonal conflict between significant others in your life. Though, if you look at it from a strengths based perspective, I would say that you have very good mediation skills. I was affected by my parents relationship with each other as well, even in childhood. I ended up taking sides to the point where it created a divide between me and my sister (I championed mom, she championed dad, so both of us got defensive when the other criticized our favoured parent).

The first therapist sounds as if she was overly eager for you to set boundaries by severing all ties with you family. That might have worked if there was abuse or if there was no love lost between you and your family, but that, it would appear, is not the case. The second style of therapy sounds more like a weekly diary rather than exploring the underlying issues, which had the effect of minimizing your problems.
 
Top