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Hello, I'm new here :)

H

hopeful72

New member
Joined
Dec 23, 2014
Messages
3
Hello :)

I'm a bit new to all this, but I just thought I'd join and see if I could get a bit of advice and/or support please.?

My husband lives with depression and has for the past several years, even before I met him, coming close to being sectioned. I've been with him for nearly 3 years and on the whole he is a loving, caring, tender guy. I have always known that he struggles to cope when stressed and try to do what I can to minimise or solve any problems before he finds them.
Just recently, he has been going through another low patch and I'm finding that I can't do right for doing wrong! :( While we've been here before, and we've got through it, I'm finding that he's now getting more accusatory and vicious. This leaves me not knowing what to say or do that won't get me shouted at! I tell myself that it's not him talking, it's the depression and during these episodes he's not himself. However, it's not doing me any good and it upsets me when my good intentions and kindness are trashed and thrown back at me!
I'm a pretty strong person and I do occasionally counter the arguments, even though I HATE arguing, but it's hard when he will not/cannot process reasonable discussion.
I'm just not sure how much more I can take, or can be expected to take. Even if I just have someone to talk to who understands depression or can offer tips on coping, that would be a great help.

Thanks for reading

HG x
 
P

Polar Bear

Guest
It can be very hard to watch a loved one go through depression. We aren't nice to be around sometimes. Just take it a day at a time and make sure you have someone to talk things over with.

Kelly x
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
Hello and welcome to the forums xx
 
L

LadyBetts

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
28
Location
New Mexico
Hello,
I use to be extremely vicious and really cynical to my boyfriend and it really wasn't me talking truth is I didn't understand why I would yell. I was mostly mad at myself not him and I wrongfully took it out on him. But his constant love really helped me through and some counseling. Give it time and don't let it burn you out because it's not your fault, just be there for him. I hope I was a little bit helpful.

Best wishes!
-LadyBetts
 
M

Mastiff mom

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
1,157
Location
Washington,DC
Hi Hopeful! Welcome to the forum. It's very supportive place.has your boyfriend seen a doctor? It would potentially be helpful and help you both understand what's going on. Having some support for yourself is extremely important. Even the strongest person can be worn down by the behavior you describe. Please keep sharing here. We really care and will be there for you. Hugs!
 
H

hopeful72

New member
Joined
Dec 23, 2014
Messages
3
Thank you for your replies :) My husband knows that he gets vicious when he gets stressed and he acknowledges that. He is so apologetic and tries so hard to make up for it. I love him very much and I want to support him but it gets difficult when it's really uncomfortable to be around him.
It really helps to know that there are people who understand and give me somewhere to vent when it gets a bit much! :)
@Mastiff, he's getting so much better at recognising his triggers and realising when things are getting on top of him. TBH, a doctor would only prescribe more medication, which is what we really don't want...
 
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