- Aug 13, 2021
I just joined. I found this forum browsing google looking for places I haven't tried yet to get some advice and maybe make some friends. Other sites and forums I have tried, I either got mean replies or no replies at all but this forum seems different. I'm lonely and I live in a toxic household with 2 female family members and I get made fun of and blamed for everything constantly. I'm not allowed to do much or go anywhere even though I'm in my 30s. The only person who keeps me going is my boyfriend but we live in 2 different states currently because of complications with family mostly. Lately I have been made to feel like a burden and that I should have never been born because I have social anxiety and possibly autism but have never been diagnosed because nobody wants to truly believe it. I don't have health insurance anymore because my state just passed a new law not accepting my insurance anymore. I don't have a job because I panic at just the thought of having an interview and constantly have what ifs in my head about getting fired, yelled at, breaking things ect. I was going to college until I ran out of money and couldn't get financial aid. I finally have a car again after not having one for years. One of the people I live with is really mean and judgemental. She jumps all over me basically calling me a burden, that I shouldn't be alive, thinks who I am and everything I love is stupid. I do act younger than my age but I have always been that way. One minute she's all supportive and helpful and the next she's bullying me and making fun of my anxiety and my boyfriend's Autism, she makes fun of both of our weights, and threatens to expose us even though there is nothing to expose. I'm just really scared of her. I feel like she wants to take away everything that makes me who I am. I just want to be so far away. I have 2 cats, I love Star Wars, anything to do with the paranormal, photography, drawing, writing, baking, and I used to enjoy making YouTube videos and it took a long time for me to be comfortable on camera and it's still hard for me sometimes but I got made fun of for my videos by that same person who also listens to everything I do, looks at everything I post on my social media accounts, and even watches me sleep. I just don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice that would be most appreciated. Thank you for reading.