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Hello, I'm natu

N

Natu

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2021
Messages
2
Location
London, Greater London
So, I got diagnosed with BPD and complex PTSD about 2 months ago. It felt good to be diagnosed because it explained a lot of overwhelming emotions I had to deal with for so many years and gave context to a lot of situations I put myself in.
I was inpatients for 5 weeks because I was suicidal and thankfully my meds kicked in 2 days before my discharge and since then I've been feeling like I'm slowly improving, I still have my bad days but for the past few days I feel like I'm losing my mind again. I seem to be overthinking stupid things and feel like I'll never find love and just over all being really overwhelmed by emotions. I'm stressed that I'm regressing and I don't know where this obsession with love has suddenly started from. Ive always loved watching romantic movies and reading romance books but Ive also been through a lot of trauma that's taught me that love isn't some magical thing. I feel really confused currently cause I also feel like I'll never let myself fall in love because of this preconceived notion of what love is like in my head, a notion that I feel like is intensified by my disorder. But then theres another part of me that knows that seeking out that kind of love is stupid because it doesn't exist. I don't know I'm just typing at this point. It's really late at night and I just had a sudden breakdown for no reason and felt like I was losing my mind so maybe sharing on this forum and letting my thoughts and feelings out might help. Sorry about this, no one needs to read this, it's babblings of a sleep deprived overly emotional person recovering from a breakdown. Anyway, I'm gonna try to sleep now. I hope you are at peace or find peace and happiness.
 
Jolly

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,717
Location
United Kingdom
Welcome 🙏 you can babble as much as you like if that makes you feel a little better
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
7,278
Location
Norway
Hi Natu welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
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