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Hello, I'm looking for advice on my situation.

B

BullishBull

New member
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1
Hello,

I saw this forum and decided to register to hopefully receive some advice on my situation and to help others also. I apologise if my post is too long, but I feel I have to explain everything in detail for one to understand how I feel and my situation.

I'm 24, I have agoraphobia, OCD, ADHD and Tourretes, and I feel some kind of social anxiety. I've had severe agoraphobia since the age of 15 when it forced me to drop out of school. My agoraphobia led to me leaving with no qualifications which to this day haunts me and effects my self esteem. My mum unexpectedly passed away just before I turned 18 and I still feel I haven't fully recovered from this. Since the age of 15 I've basically been a recluse, I can't leave the house. I can only leave the house for some reason when I've had no sleep and I guess the adrenaline gets me through it. Obviously I have no support or friends due to my illness.

I recently received a letter from the Job Centre Plus stating that I should attend a work program for my ESA. I did manage to attend, but I was so nervous and again I had zero sleep. My work coach was very understanding and told me that somehow I should of been offered help, but that I had somehow slipped through the net all these past years. She has recommended that I start volunteering to get some work experience, I agreed that I should do this, but I literally have no idea how to even get a volunteering job. She also told me that I should be receiving therapy from the NHS.

I feel like an utter failure because I have no GCSEs or any other qualifications because of my agoraphobia and to my despair, I was recently told that you can study GCSEs from home. So all this time that I was stuck indoors, I could of actually bettered myself and studied at home, but I honestly believed once you left school you could never do GCSEs again. I feel like my life is just full of nothing but regrets.

Day to day living is so hard for me right now, I hate waking up every morning not having any responsibilities or having anything to do or anywhere to go. I just want to work and feel valued, but I fear that due to my illness and lack of experience and qualifications nobody will employ me and it's making me feel very depressed and at times suicidal. I live alone and have nobody to talk to, my only pleasure in life is exercising and lifting weights, but I can't do this all day. I basically feel like I'm defeating my agoraphobia with my visits to see my work coach but on the other hand I'm meeting a dead end because I can't live a normal life because I'm basically unemployable and my self esteem is so low that I can't make any friends.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
22,210
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum, sorry for the loss of your mother. Beareavement counselling could really help you as well.
Visit your GP who can refer you for counselling etc. I'm sorry your going through all of this.
You can study at any age. Don't be hard on yourself, you've had lots of difficulties.
I hope your life picks up very soon for you. Well done for completing the ESA work programme.
Take care
 
A

AAveri

Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
10
Location
BC, Canada
Hi BullishBull.

I'm sorry to hear you're in this conundrum, but please don't blame yourself. It sounds like you've had a hard struggle over the years. It is not your fault.

It is great that you attended the job training program. You did something to move yourself forward, and you fought through the fear. That's a big accomplishment.

Instead of thinking that you could have earned your diploma at home and feeling regrets that you didn't, you could see the knowledge that there is an at-home program as a source of hope, because you now have the opportunity to complete the courses and move forward, which will certainly help with being employable.

You can't help it if you didn't know the program was there before. No one knows everything. Everyone does the best they can with what they have at the time. But now, if you want to, you can change things for yourself.

I would say focus on taking baby steps forward. You have a goal and you will get there eventually, even if you start slowly. It is never too late to learn things. Even 80 and 90 year-olds learn things- like computer skills- by taking courses. You can do it. Start small and build up.

Most of all, you are valuable, you are cared about, and you deserve to be happy and have support from others. :hug: Please reach out here if you need someone.
 
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