Hello, I'm a total newbie

[Alaskagirl]

I'm new to forums or chats but I'm certainly not new to being agoraphobic. It has gotten progresssively worse over the years. It's now the worst its ever been. Also I have been diagnosed Bi-polar 1, I'm not sure if I believe that but I´m also not sure it matters. I always just thought I was severely depressed.
I am here because I'm lonely. Really lonely. It's pathetic to think that I could raise 3 beautiful children, and I do mean beautiful, they are delicious to look at and intelligent and sooo funny and I can not step out the bloody front door. Today is my youngest son´s birthday, he turned 20, and I am unable to go do anything with him.

 

[Zero One]

Hello. I am bipolar...I have bipolar I. I was once not leaving the house but it came from mental problems that I didn't realize were problems at the time. I think it is good that you are getting help. In my case my mental problems changed before I got help and I gradually started to go outside again. I think you will fare better than me since you are getting help already. All the best xx

 

[Alaskagirl]

Hello. I am bipolar...I have bipolar I. I was once not leaving the house but it came from mental problems that I didn't realize were problems at the time. I think it is good that you are getting help. In my case my mental problems changed before I got help and I gradually started to go outside again. I think you will fare better than me since you are getting help already. All the best xx

Thank you. It helps so much to know that there are others that have felt this way or feel this way. I always have so many questions, then I am afraid to ask or they fall out of my head and i am unable to remember. Memory seems worse the more severe this gets. At least for me.

 

[Zero One]

Thank you. It helps so much to know that there are others that have felt this way or feel this way. I always have so many questions, then I am afraid to ask or they fall out of my head and i am unable to remember. Memory seems worse the more severe this gets. At least for me.

My memory is terrible. My psychiatrist said it is due to depression. I seldom have depressed mood, but I am bipolar...I guess that is where the depression is going. In the past I used to have depressed mood.

 

[Zero One]

Congratulations on raising great children!

 

[Alaskagirl]

Congratulations on raising great children!

That is the nicest thing anyone could ever EVER say to me My youngest who is having his birthday today was just accepted into the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I am so proud of him! So the lonely bits are really going to hit me. My husband is gone 6 weeks at a time, then home for 1 week. My daughter goes to school on the east coast and my oldest son is married to a wonderful girl and they have a daughter (my darling granddaughter). I need to find a new purpose. I gave up my career when my oldest was 6 as he was special needs, it worked well. I home schooled him, he ended up going to college and getting married. Things the drs. said he would never be able to do. He has a brilliant job and is a charming, intelligent person and fun to be around. When I left work, that´s when the agoraphobia started to get worse. It was always there, just under the surface.

 

[Zero One]

OMG Congratulations to your youngest! That is a great achievement for the both of you!! Congratulations to your daughter and you! And WOW on your oldest. My son is special needs, that would be like a dream come true for me for him to have such good social functioning. You are an amazing mom. Well done!! Have you ever considered going back to work?

 

[Zero One]

I am not ignoring what you are saying about being lonely but I do not know how to respond. I like being alone.