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Hello! I am new to the board and I just started therapy

ChaosSymphony

ChaosSymphony

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Florida
and it is kicking my a_ _ right now.
In addition, my wife is eight months pregnant with our first child. I thought it would be a good idea to start dealing with my childhood trauma. However, I am starting to feel like that may have been a bad idea.

I am a musician who has been using melodies that I write as a tool for therapy for over 25 years. It works to keep me rolling out of bad every day. Now I am in therapy and It does not feel like my therapist is fully invested, but I could be wrong. It is very different than what I expected.

My therapist wants me to try EMDR. I had no idea what it was. I walked into therapy two weeks ago and they her paddles/joy sticks were laying on the couch. Naturally, I asked what they were. Then she went into this whole pitch and if it would be something I am interested in. My issue is that she knows I spent a few years from 12 to 15 living on the streets, and I made it out. She is from the same city and knows what I went through. I have a huge guard up that when I feel someone is trying to hustle me, I get really frustrated. She stated that she did not intentionally leave them out. I know this sounds absolutely absurd, but its frustrating to me, and I do not know if I can get past it. I even told her that it will not change anything and I will still do the EMDR. The gaps between therapy are becoming a struggle too. I am up for anything as far as treatment. It just feels like I am getting in my own way.
That is my story and I am sticking to it.
 
Avolitionist

Avolitionist

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2020
Messages
1,035
Location
USA
Therapy is a lot of work. Usually worth the effort though.

You seem to be aware that it is you in your way, so you are doing well. Now you either have to decide to do the work or remain standing in your own way. I think you've already decided what is the best choice.

Good luck and :welcome: .
 
ChaosSymphony

ChaosSymphony

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Florida
Therapy is a lot of work. Usually worth the effort though.

You seem to be aware that it is you in your way, so you are doing well. Now you either have to decide to do the work or remain standing in your own way. I think you've already decided what is the best choice.

Good luck and :welcome: .
Thank you. :thanks:
 
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