• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Hello from Suffolk

Halo

Halo

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
27
Location
im in the south of the uk
Hi everyone.. sorry about my spelling as i havnt worked out how to get the spell check working yet.

I recently had an uncontrollable rage outburst three days ago. My next door neighbour ( a qualified nurse) came round to find out what I had said to her ex husband who had parked his car blocking access to my drive.

Over two yrs I have put up with him bocking the access to my drive way, which is shared with another neighbour who has also complained when he cannot access his house.

So on christmas day when he came along and parked his car at an angle so no one could get in or out, I decided that I would speak to him about it.

I said to the guy... are you aware that parking your vehicle like this is antagonising not only me but the neighbour next to me? I also said.... by law im not allowed to obstuct my neighbours driveway and he is abliged by law not to block our access, so can you see that for over the past two yrs since iv been here your parking behaviour is pissing us off. He replied...its only for a couple of minutes... to which i said.. perhaps but the thing is your still blocking the drive way and there are pleanty of places to park on this street that is reasonable.. any way to cut a long story short.. he said fine ...i went in.

Now this is where things get juicy....

My neighbour came over to find out what I had said. I explained. Her posture was of anoyance and confrontational. She made me feel as though i had to answer to her. I asked her what was said and she said exactly what you told me...

So why was she there? What did she want?

Anyway.. things were said and i tried to explain my thoughts on the matter.. but she walked away saying i should have bought a semi detatched house if i have problems with noise and parking issues...

I shut the front door and thats when i exploded.. i let rip big time.. i screamed at the top of my voice and just let it all come out..


two yrs of listening to her dogs barking.. putting up with not being able to get in my drive way... I didnt hold back to say the least..

Oh and my word.... the foul language that came from my mouth was utterly blue to say the least..

My poor husband just sat there and listened to me.. then i went outside to have a ciggy and to calm down in the back garden..

Next thing .. my husband said that the neighbour is at the front door wanting to speak to me.. thats when i shouted at the top of my voice so i knew she could hear me she can go and f*** right off.. etc... and words of that effect...

Any way..she came in.. used her experience as a nurse to calm the situation down.. and we talked more.. The issue has been dealt with.

Now my new issue is.. that my neighbour and my husband have been chatting to eachother about my behaviour..

I have asked my husband for help for the last 12mths and i have had nothing.. because his dad died and i had to leave him alone to be able to cope with his issues.

I was diagnosed with depression when i was in my teens and have had bouts of it all my life..

I have found it very difficult to find help over the years and as a result i have had a very poor quality of life.

Im currently on meds and i had found a coping strategy which was working for me.. now im on a spiral downwards.

Now that incident with my neighbour has happened im beside myself..

Im going to the doctors sometime this week with my husband and i am going to do everything in my power to get some help.

Since reading other forum members experiences I dont feel alone and I feel more positive.. however long that lasts for .. but it is a start.

All the very best to everyone on this site.. thanks for taking time to read my experience :)
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Hello,

I hope you get the help you are looking for.

KS
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Hello & :welcome: to the forum. I am prone occasionally to such outbursts if people piss me off enough; thankfully these days I don't act out too much. In the past I have been sectioned as a result of such things. One time I smashed the house up with a baseball bat - not recommended as a way of venting anger. :oops:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
If the outburst got you into the spot where you can get help well that's okay. Sometimes it just takes a spark to light the powder keg and at least all you did was shout. I once threw a plate loaded with a full English at the manager of a cafe. And that's just one of the things I can get up to.

This is the start of what could be a new era for you - and if you want to scream here then do it! Start a blog and let everything out.

Good to see you and welcome.
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi and:welcome:.
I put up with terrible neighbours for 6 years and apart from once I kept totally silent. Unfortunately this made them even worse. After 14months of persistent mind games from them I finally had to move mainly for the sake of my health. I have been in my new home for 4 months now and I have a wonderful sense of freedom. Not everybody is in the position to move...I was just lucky at the right time. I feel that it may have done my mental state more good to 'blow up', looking back, as I got dreadfully ill in the process of trying to ignore them.I suffer from anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder. there were many times that i wanted to explode but if I had it would have been 'big time'. I went through the official line of police and environmental health and had support from my local CMHT. Keep a diary of events. It helps to talk things through rationally and calmly.
Good luck!(y)
 
S

saffron

Guest
Hi Halo and welcome
well you are only human and any reasonable person would have blown at some point, she sounds like she has no respect, which is out of order being a nurse, it has however, allowed an opportunity to talk to someone who has or should have some knowledge of psychology being a nurse that is there as things happen, your feelings are real and should be respected, you have asked her nicely before and her husband was ok with it, maybe they are having problems. who knows.
good luck
S
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Halo and welcome to the forum.

It's probably the case that the situation with the neighbours care was just the last thing to make you go pop so you've probably been holding on to a whole load of stuff for a long time so it could be a good thing to let it all go for at least a while - well done for keeping it verbal and well done for using this as a good signal to get some more help. Hopefully things will now start to get better for you!
 
Halo

Halo

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
27
Location
im in the south of the uk
hi honeyquince and safron

I know that maybe this was a sign that help maybe needed but i cant help feeling low and useless. Just knowing that i am not capable of having a normal life. Perhaps even thinking normal things like normal people. But then i think well.. what is normal. I suppose not being able to hold down a job is not normal.

This way of thinking has made me feel isolated now.. even though my husband came home last night from work and said iv spoken to the mh authourity and they said that i definately need some help and it looks like the ball is rolling,.. i still feel alone, confused and somewhat reluctant to let people know about me.

There is no way on earth now, would i ever have the same relationship with my next door neighbour, and now she and my husband have talked about my mental health, i dont want her involved with me what so ever. Even worse i dont trust my husband now..

Is this a product of my mh issues? Or do i make sense that over the last yr my husband and his mother have had a bad time due to my father inlaw passing on, that i have gone so far down hill and i cant cope with there selfish ways anymore. It almost as if i have been left out in the cold. I feel like an outsider looking in.
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Halo,

I'm afraid that in many cases feeling low and useless comes with the territory of mental health... the good news though is that this is often part of the illness, it's not just you and it can be treated!

Remember that coming to terms with having a mental illness is, if this is what you have, often a very scary thing (the first time I was admitted to hospital was the scariest time in my life up until then) and it's easy to be very suspicious of everyone around you. On the whole I've subsequently found people incredibly supportive though I have to be honest and acknowledge that there is a real stigma attached to mental illness (we're all working on that one!). The thing to do is to get some professional help. Go to see your gp or someone within the mental health service and just tell them what has happened and how you are feeling (often people will print out what they've typed here and take that to the doctors so that you don't feel that you have to remember everything about how you feel). I see that you intend to see your GP next week which is good - does it have to wait that long, can you not go to the emergency surgery?

In the meantime we are here and can offer support and a place to off load how you are feeling so keep posting! There's also a link at the top of the page for extra help if things get worse.

Take care and I'm thinking of you,
Honey, xx
 
Halo

Halo

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
27
Location
im in the south of the uk
Thank you Honeyquince for your reply. I would go to the gp sooner however i have the flu and dont feel much up to passing my germs to everyone there and i also dont feel like getting out of bed.

My husband and I are both going to see my doctor on monday. He feels more positive also that we are going to deal with this together.

I have done a lot of reading and research online in the last couple of days and i feel quite disappointed that the statistics for MH issues is so high. It seems that there is an ever increasing need for help and year after year numbers go up.

I have recently been visiting this website and found it helpful. http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Hi Halo - I've just looked at that website and the description and diagnostic criteria that they give for Bipolar Disorder (which is my particular illness) is misleading and inaccurate. I'd be a little cautious about that using that site - you can get some very good information from this site http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo.aspx
 
Halo

Halo

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
27
Location
im in the south of the uk
Hi Halo - I've just looked at that website and the description and diagnostic criteria that they give for Bipolar Disorder (which is my particular illness) is misleading and inaccurate. I'd be a little cautious about that using that site - you can get some very good information from this site http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo.aspx
Thank you Dollit..

Iv had a look at this site and it looks quite informative. :)
 
Behind The Sun

Behind The Sun

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2008
Messages
930
Location
North East UK
Hi Halo :welcome: to the forum
I have bouts of mad rages and it to can put me on a low after my outbursts, so i know how you feel.Take care BTS :)
 
Halo

Halo

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
27
Location
im in the south of the uk
Hello Behind The Sun

Tahnks for your message.. Iv been on a low for a few days since the outburst.. and i have a headache now.. mind you i also have the flu so i dont think that has helped.

I find that i tend to avoid situations and people who i think will make me angry and as a result i tend to isolate myself from life.. is that the same for you?

Best wishes
 
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