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Hello from an NPD

Q

Q_sert

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Minneapolis
Hello everyone. I've registered on this forum because I've recently discovered that I suffer from narcissistic personality disorder, and I'm (ideally) looking to learn more about living with it, and changing how I act. It makes so much sense to me now, and explains why I don't seem to like many people or understand many people's emotional states at times. Essentially, read a description of the symptoms of NPD and I fit them almost perfectly. It's been an eye opening experience.

I'm at a point in my life now, where the feelings of greatness I seem to always have are leading to depression, because I don't feel I am at the place I should be. I feel like I should be doing more with my life, living a life of unparalleled success and not the mediocre life I'm currently living. It's an internalized depression that comes and goes, from not living up to the standards I believe I should embody.

Obviously I know that's my NPD talking, but it's true all the same. The depression comes and goes, interwoven with my feelings of grandiosity and fervent desire to succeed. I'm hoping I can learn to cope with it, and maybe turn these feelings into a form of discipline so that I can actually get somewhere in life, or at least a bit better than where I am right now.

The question is, am I truly here to seek support and assistance, or am I just here to feed my ego by having a place to talk about this? Honestly, I'm not even sure. Half of me says it's one, and half says it's the other.

Anyway, that's my intro. Wonderful to be here, I'm sure I'll be posting quite a bit.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum, Q_sert. :hi:
We have a personality disorder sub-board here, so that might be a good place to start telling your story.
I hope you find the forum helpful too.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

Well-known member
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Moderator
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15,700
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UK
The question is, am I truly here to seek support and assistance, or am I just here to feed my ego by having a place to talk about this? Honestly, I'm not even sure. Half of me says it's one, and half says it's the other.
Does't come across to me like you are just on an ego-trip, sounds like you genuinely want to understand your condition, and improve things for yourself, not just bolster any delusions or feelings of grandiosity you might have. You sound honest with yourself, and determined, and that takes courage.

I wish you the best Q_sert, and welcome to the forum, I hope you find it useful here.
 
Q

Q_sert

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Minneapolis
Does't come across to me like you are just on an ego-trip, sounds like you genuinely want to understand your condition, and improve things for yourself, not just bolster any delusions or feelings of grandiosity you might have. You sound honest with yourself, and determined, and that takes courage.

I wish you the best Q_sert, and welcome to the forum, I hope you find it useful here.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
 
blueflames

blueflames

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 1, 2014
Messages
3,705
Location
Anywhere but reality
Yeah, NPD is a tough one. You are gonna need to adopt a learnt empathy to get by imo

In my experience the people who try to learn basic human traits get on better in life

Welcome btw xx
 
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