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Hello everyone

J

jimmy3rg

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2021
Messages
2
Location
uk
My name is Jim, I have suffered fromm depression since I was 15, it has effected me to varying degrees throughout my life, I am now in my 50s and during this period there had been a few times when i have felt so bad that I have wanted to take my own life. I am quite the loner and cant mix with people too well. Crowded places are a nightmare for me and i tend to stay quietunless someone talks to me, then I panic for some reason and give short answers, it does come over as being anti social but inside I just panic and want to melt into the background.

I have tried various meds and also been offered a referral to talking therapy from my GP, the meds tend to either make me feel agressive or wierd, (I dont know how to describe the feeling), whilst the thought of talking to someone stresses me out.

I went through bowel cancer treatment in 2018 and if it wernt for the fact I was taking care of mam who had dimentia at the time I dont know if I would have actually went through with the treatment or not, since mams death 18 months ago I have slipped back into a bad depression, Whilst I am not suicidal, I dont really care about myself anymore. If the cancer returns, i honestly dont think i would have treatment for it, (sorry if that sounds bad, its just how I feel).

I am on a drug called citalopram to try and help with my anxiety but when I have to go somewhere it really dosent help as by the time I get back home I am a nervous wreck. I dont think I am suicidal these days rather just treading water.

Sorry for the long post, what started as a brief introduction has turned into a life history. Dont know where that came from lol.
 
B

BobTheBuilder1989

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
273
Location
USA
Hi there, welcome to the group. I hope you can find what you need. How are you feeling today?
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2021
Messages
1,015
Location
UK
I feel like a salesperson for saying this so much but try a low a low dose antipsychotic.
 
A

Amyjane8812341

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
225
Hi Jim,
I am so sorry your having a hard time. I was on citalopram for a few years but did not find them any use. For the past few years I have been on sertraline and have found them somewhat better. ( although they do give me buring pain in my stomach.)
I have many diffrent things going on with my mental health but one thing I have had since my early teen is agoraphobia. I felt/ feel very much like you when I go out. When was the last time you spoke to your gp or mental health team if you have one . Hugs
 
J

jimmy3rg

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2021
Messages
2
Location
uk
Sorry I didnt reply yesterday, I just get so moody these days. Today has been a somewhat better day.
Thank you all for the welcomes and advice, whilst I dont have a mental health team as such, my GP used to call me regularly but either he gave up or more likely I pushed him away. He did suggest talking therapy but i am just not comfortable talking with people (although here I am talking about it).

Anyhow, thank you all again for the welcomes, I hope you are all keeping safe.
 
A

Amyjane8812341

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
225
Sorry I didnt reply yesterday, I just get so moody these days. Today has been a somewhat better day.
Thank you all for the welcomes and advice, whilst I dont have a mental health team as such, my GP used to call me regularly but either he gave up or more likely I pushed him away. He did suggest talking therapy but i am just not comfortable talking with people (although here I am talking about it).

Anyhow, thank you all again for the welcomes, I hope you are all keeping safe.
I must say I find it a lot easier to talk to poeple on here than any doctor . Glad your feeling a little better today
 

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