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Hello everyone

B

Blueman

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Hello, im Blueman ( odd to not use my normal name or handle online )

Im a 50 y/o male, who has had issues with voices occasionally during times of great stress for 20 years, but has now found that trying to survive the voices takes up most of my time and energy. ( luckily, where i live has a good welfare system)
Its at the point that they are claiming that i am facing 2000 years of being sentenced to hell after i die, and of course, if i commit suicide my sentence is reduced.
I have never been diagnosed with more than depression and anxiety, and suspect that my increasing psychosis is related to long term brain degeneration from multiple head injuries - no one gets schizophrenia at 50 AFAIK

My voices basic goal is to get me to kill myself, and i need to spend the rest of my life managing them as well as i can, while trying to improve myself so that i can get a better quality of life.

so hello from Blueman :)
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hello Blueman, welcome to the forum.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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welcome Blueman,

I'm a voice hearer as well and my voice used to try to get me to take my own life, when I refused it said it would end me in my sleep, five years later I'm still here so I guess it was beyond its abilities.

May I ask if you're on antipsychotics for your voices? My voice thought life was bad before I used them but now its a living nightmare for it, I'd have sympathy if it wasn't for my voice trying its hardest to keep talking every waking moment and the frequent verbal abuse I get from it.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you what I believe antipsychotics do to voices, but it's bad, very bad.
 
B

Blueman

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Hi NWiddi,

No antipsychotics for me. I was only ever diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and am now discharged. Im currently on 100mg Effexor and 30mg Mirtazapine.
Reading the posts here has already helped a bit. My voices really are so generic - when they first started speaking to me consciously about 5 years ago they knew nothing about me, but over time they got more and more info out of me, and now describe me as "mindjacked" - they know basically everything.
Its all about getting me to commit suicide. There are multiple male and female voices, some sound like relatives, and they constantly make claims gaslighting me and catfishing me using anything that i think, feel, or do as leverage in their demonic schemes to kill me.
 
Bod

Bod

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Hello and welcome to the forum, I hope you can settle here as everyone is so caring and helpful.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Im currently on 100mg Effexor and 30mg Mirtazapine.
I believe those have a negative effect on voices but I can't be sure if they do the same as antipsychotics, I do know other peoples voices have become suicidal when using antidepressants/anxiety medication but for me I used antipsychotics before I started using an antianxiety medication.

There are multiple male and female voices, some sound like relatives
Mine did the exact same thing in the beginning, impersonated males and females, some I recognised as family or friends and some I didn't know, but I eventually came to the belief I was dealing with just one voice that was a very good mimic.

they knew nothing about me, but over time they got more and more info out of me
My voice knew me straight off the bat so much so I believe it's been with me my entire life, hiding itself in the background of my mind but it didn't speak to me directly until I reached the age of 36.

I believe I've come to know it extremely well, as anyone might if they heard a voice in their head every waking moment for the past five years.
 
Lone_wanderer

Lone_wanderer

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@Blueman, if you have depression and are hearing voices but not having delusions it could be psychotic depression.
 
B

Blueman

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Im attempting not to have delusions, but its not going well. In between my trauma, brain damage, an apparent impending global apocalypse, and my countries social breakdown/war, im very susceptible to being tricked.
While nothing the voices have said about real world stuff has EVER turned out correct, when they say stuff about religion, family secrets, and social issues i have no way of testing their claims, so its easier for them to upset me.
 
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