• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hello Everyone

S

Sanctus

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
2
Location
New York
Hey guys. My name's Rich and I'm an addict.

I wont get into all the details leading up, but basically at this point I feel totally emotionless. Void of any chemical influences, all I will do is eat, watch TV, and sleep all day. That first buzz after not having any for a little while will feel good, but that quickly subsides and turns into impulsiveness, irresponsibility, paranoia, anxiety attacks, all within only a few hours.

Then after that, the crash is unbearable, everything seems meaningless, and I cant stop contemplating suicide at that time.

Even after rejuvenating from the crash - there have even been weeks I've involuntarily gone without any substances - that impending sense of doom is gone, but I'm still left feeling totally empty.

It's gotten to the point where I cant even cry, or feel sad about my terrible choices and predicament, without being under the influence of something. Sober me is like a bag of meat just going through the motions of life.

Anyway my whole reason for being here is that if i can find anyone who can relate to and understand these feelings of mine then then it would be a huge help.

Thanks
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,850
Location
Canada
Welcome, there a substance abuse forum.
 
calypso

calypso

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Jan 5, 2011
Messages
54,541
Location
Lancashire
:welcome: to the forum. That is an awful experience for you. I don't know what substance you are taking, some have long lasting effects on the brain. May I suggest you see a doctor and get yourself checked out. You sound very depressed although obviously I can't diagnose on a forum. There are ways out of this. IN Britain we have an AA sort of thing for addicts (I forget what its called), do they have anything like that in the USA? I'm sure there must be. I think it might help to meet other addicts who are trying to clean up and get their life back.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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Forum Guide
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Jun 16, 2020
Messages
4,177
Location
Norway
Hi Sanctus welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
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