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biovet

biovet

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Feb 1, 2008
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Gloucestershire
Hello,

I have just newly discovered this forum and thought I would join so that I can chat to people and maybe get some advice.

I am 19 years old, a Bioveterinary degree student hoping to go to vet school after I graduate and at the moment I live in halls of residence. Although I am really enjoying my biovet degree, and trying to get the most out of my learning experience, I am finding it very hard to socialise with people without sometimes feeling anxious or upset.

A lot of the time, I am quite a content, happy person who has lots of things to look forward to and also exciting ambitions, but sometimes I feel quite low and miserable. This is usually triggered off by simple, everyday trivial things such as missing a bus, standing in long queues, forgetting something or being let down by somebody. These things really irritate me to the point where I become quite angry (within myself) and I become very edgy for the rest of the day. I try to avoid people because I want to be alone and do my own things to relax and calm down, but sometimes people still get in my way and it makes me feel even worse. I get to the stage where I have to lock myself in my room and just listen to music while I read so I can block everything out and just be secure and alone.

Although I get on really well with my flatmates, they're very nice people and we do some of the same modules, there are times when I might spend a few hours with them at university and then I start to feel a bit claustraphobic and make excuses like "i need to go now and speak to my tutor" or say I want to go to the library. Although I enjoy time with my friends because I like to chat and catch up on news, there comes a point when I really need to be by myself, or I start to feel tense and trapped. My friends all go home in between lectures but I like to stay in the library and read for a while, which they can't seem to understand. They ask me why I stay in the library after lectures and don't get the first bus home, and make a deal out of it. I start to feel a bit annoyed because thats what I like to do and Id rather read for a few hours rather than go back to halls and not get any peace and quiet.

Its not because I am hiding, it is genuinely because I enjoy reading for my subjects and appreciate the time to sit down and read more into what interests me about veterinary medicine. After all, its what I want to spend the rest of my life doing and I am passionate about it.

I am not always like this; some days when I am really happy I like chatting to people in the kitchen and maybe going out in the evening, if its a small group of friends I really enjoy going out. I dont know why some days I can't cope, I feel like no-one understands me just because I like some time to myself to read and watch tv with quiet. Everyone else seems to need to be with someone all the time, never alone but I need it or I get tense and fed up.

Sorry for the long intro post! I hope people who read this will maybe be able to offer me some guidance, possibly on how to relax and not feel so stressed.

Thanks :)
 
Last edited:
D

Dollit

Guest
I think everybody reacts to stress in different ways and you like to have time on your own. I can identify with that but I can also identify with the fact that you like to be with other people at times. We all react to irritating things - when you want to get home and you've just missed the bus it's annoying and I know I get mad. When your friends ask why you're staying tell them that if you don't go through the transition from student to person before you go home you'll turn into a vampire or something. It'll make them laugh and they'll leave you alone.

You're in the right place here for advice, there are some wise people here - and it's fun. Welcome! :welcome:
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
A lot of the time, I am quite a content, happy person who has lots of things to look forward to and also exciting ambitions, but sometimes I feel quite low and miserable. This is usually triggered off by simple, everyday trivial things such as missing a bus, standing in long queues, forgetting something or being let down by somebody. These things really irritate me to the point where I become quite angry (within myself) and I become very edgy for the rest of the day. I try to avoid people because I want to be alone and do my own things to relax and calm down, but sometimes people still get in my way and it makes me feel even worse. I get to the stage where I have to lock myself in my room and just listen to music while I read so I can block everything out and just be secure and alone.
Hello Biovet, :welcome:

You sound very normal & everything you talk about sounds healthy to me. You sound like a conscientious student & that you enjoy peace & quite.

I myself enjoy socialising, but also I need my space. I will often spend time alone just sitting quietly, on the computer, watching TV or reading. If I am around other people too much it sends me crazy as well. I try not to spend more than a day on my own, & most days I do meet up with someone. But I am quite happy in my own company. I enjoy peace, quiet & my own space to contemplate things. Many of the people I know seem to have this strong need to be permanently around other people. We are all different I suppose.
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

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Messages
1,149
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W2
I'm a mature student at college (just finishing!!), and to be honest I think the only time I really went out was fresher's week ;)

To be honest most people feel so ill at ease with themselves that they constantly seek to be in company. The fact that you can spend time alone is actually probably a good thing. I've often found groups hard. I'm fine with small groups (i.e. 2-3) but find the dynamic changes with larger groups or in certain environments. I thrive off close meaningful relationships, and find that larger groups or environments that are suited to that group dynamic have a different timbre to the interaction. While not wanting to appear judgemental, I've found the quality of the interaction is inversely proportional to group size...


and of course :welcome:
 
biovet

biovet

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Feb 1, 2008
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2
Location
Gloucestershire
thanks for the reassurance, I suppose I dont need to feel so "different" now :)

I suppose the worst I have felt was over xmas, when I went home to see my family. That was fine, it was good to see everyone again but then I went to stay with my grandparents for a few days. For the first two days I felt quite happy and was having a nice time, but for the last three days I went totally quiet and didn't hardly say a word. I don't know why, but I just didn't feel like talking or being enthusiastic. I started to feel sad and became easily annoyed and fed up, though I kept it to myself.

My grandparents never asked what was the matter, but at night I did hear them talking about me and it wasn't nice to hear them saying that I had "a bad attitude" and was being "rebellious." I was so hurt that they thought that of me. I had never shown my annoyance or irritation, I had never snapped at them. I was always polite except I just felt like I wanted to be quiet. I suppose I began to feel trapped and couldn't wait to get home. When I did, my mum told me that my grandparents had been on the phone to her, told my mum all about how I had been quiet and something was wrong and she should "get to the bottom of it." I was in tears when I got home because I couldn't explain why I had felt like that but my mum just hugged me and told me she understood and it was ok.

I havent talked to my grandparents since xmas, I dont really want to because Im still hurt by the things they said about me.

Sometimes I feel like this and its really hard. Other times Im on a high, really happy and laughing and being very talkative. I can't shut up! But then I change after a day or two and then I isolate myself and tell the people I was laughing and joking with yesterday to go away and leave me alone.

My mum suggests I may be bi-polar, but I don't know much about this. Last year i was on antidepressants which I stopped after a few weeks because I felt better but now and then I tend to slip into "dark holes" which I stay in for about a day...

Can anyone suggest what I should do to cope in future if I begin to feel like this?
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I suggest a trip to your GP and talk as you have talked on your most recent post. Let him or her rule things in or out and get a clear picture of whether there is a tangible problem or not. Then it's much easier to do things that really help. :tea:
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

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I don't want to be the person to suggest meds (but I'm going to :unsure: ) but if the lows are really unbearable then they may be an answer. The last thing you need is for things to become more than you can handle, and if its just a case of chemicals being slightly out (which it often can be) then the RIGHT meds can really help. That said you have to fight your corner and make sure they get you on the right ones. There's no point putting up with something that makes you feel as bad as the original condition, in fact it's probably worse.

In regards to your grandparents, they're from a different era. The war generation (even if they were just kids at the time) were all about 'Chin up, stiff upper lip' etcetera and that's the way people had to deal with things at the time. We live in a very different place today, where we spend time trying to understand ourselves rather than turning a blind eye and cracking on. Sometimes people are just trying to make sense of things in a way that they are able to understand. I know saying that they're from a different generation probably doesn't help much....but....they're from a different generation ;)
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Dec 18, 2007
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1,937
Hello and :welcome: biovet .
Glad you found us :)

Why not print what you have wrote here and go and see your gp , maybe you came off your anti -d 's too early.

I wish you lots of luck with your studying and grades :)
 
daffy

daffy

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Dec 16, 2007
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hiding behind the sofa
Hi biovet and welcome:welcome:

Dont try and self diagnose. These things take months if not years to come to a diagnosis. The first step you should take is see your GP and get a referral if possible. If you are given meds they usually take 2-4 weeks to start working but maybe you should have stayed on them if they helped

:)
 
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