• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Hello Everyone. Not sure but I try this, too

F

Francesco55

Member
Joined
Jul 3, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Edinburgh, Scotland
I have suffered from mental health issues all my life (I am 65 now). Diagnosed as depressed in my 20s, tried pills, counselling, etc. Until a decade ago I was able to manage, more or less, then all my life began crushing down, faster and faster, to the point that I am now unable to move out of my bed most of the time. A few years ago I did a test for BPD and passed with flying colours, but I have been unable to find any help. It seems that doctors don't like to talk about it, still wondering why?
I believe now that my problems started long before my first diagnosys even if I am not sure about the specific. I was born in an age when people preferred to find out to have terminal cancer rather than being diagnosed as mentally ill. The stigma is still there, just not so explicit any longer. Hypocrisy is a kind of progress, in a way.
I know that I will never be 'normal' and that it is too late to fix too many things that have gone wrong in my life (relationships, career, etc). I wish at least to spend the remaining years in a way that is not so utterly awful, as most of my days are. Too much to ask?
I hope to find here other people with whom to communicate openly and sincerely about our experiences.
Best of luck to all

F
 
mar

mar

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
68
Location
Washington, DC, USA
Sorry to hear about your struggles - I grew up in a family and school where depression was denied... "it's not real"... I was also not diagnosed until I looked for help on my own in my 20s...
therapy hasn't been too helpful either... trying to make changes on my own now...
What you want is not "too much to ask"... It's asking for very little...
I just don't know what is realistic to expect at this point (talking about myself)...
I guess maybe we can't "ask" for anything?
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
1,277
Location
Tirana
Ciao Francesco

I can identify with you because the paths our life has taken and age are so similar. In my 50s I lost the best job in the world due to a bolt from hell and have spent the last 7 years living from day to day.

I get the impression you have kinda given up. Let me tell you that 65 is not old these days. What you need to do is find something to get you outta bed. I presume your single which makes it so much harder.

The first thing Id do is start meditation. Every day. Learn it on youtube. That will help with depression and motivation but you must do every day gradualky increasing to at least 25 minutes per session.

The next thing Id do is join a sports club/gym. Loads of folk our age. Get a personalised fitness routine using weights. You will be able to see progress on a day to day basis.

That will also build confidence but take time. Be patient and dont be put off by young muscleheads.

If you could also find a hobby would be great. Watch some YouTube clips on history, religion, general knowledge kinda stuff.

You can do it. If I can you can but my range of activities is very limited to yoga, meditation and my cellfon.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
6,596
Location
A comet
Hello Francesco55, welcome to the forum.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,597
I have suffered from mental health issues all my life (I am 65 now). Diagnosed as depressed in my 20s, tried pills, counselling, etc. Until a decade ago I was able to manage, more or less, then all my life began crushing down, faster and faster, to the point that I am now unable to move out of my bed most of the time. A few years ago I did a test for BPD and passed with flying colours, but I have been unable to find any help. It seems that doctors don't like to talk about it, still wondering why?
I believe now that my problems started long before my first diagnosys even if I am not sure about the specific. I was born in an age when people preferred to find out to have terminal cancer rather than being diagnosed as mentally ill. The stigma is still there, just not so explicit any longer. Hypocrisy is a kind of progress, in a way.
I know that I will never be 'normal' and that it is too late to fix too many things that have gone wrong in my life (relationships, career, etc). I wish at least to spend the remaining years in a way that is not so utterly awful, as most of my days are. Too much to ask?
I hope to find here other people with whom to communicate openly and sincerely about our experiences.
Best of luck to all

F
It shocks me that you have received this treatment from medical professionals, of all people.
Goodness. Regarding 'doctors don't like talking about it', I'm speechless.

You really must try to find a better doctor, get a referral to a psychiatrist, to get a proper assessment for your symptoms and official diagnosis.
 
F

Francesco55

Member
Joined
Jul 3, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Edinburgh, Scotland
Many thanks to all those who replied to my introduction. I noticed something interesting: some of you gave advice, I am sure with the best intentions, but my first reaction is "how does s/he dare to think that I don't know such a basic idea?" I repeat, I know that the intention was good but perhaps it is a characteristic of whatever I have (or we have? Do other feel similarly?) that taking suggestions is difficult. It is strange because all my life I believed to be a rather open-minded individual, capable of learning and to admit my own limitations (not difficult when you have a 'voice' inside your head saying that you are a worthless piece of shit).
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,597
Many thanks to all those who replied to my introduction. I noticed something interesting: some of you gave advice, I am sure with the best intentions, but my first reaction is "how does s/he dare to think that I don't know such a basic idea?" I repeat, I know that the intention was good but perhaps it is a characteristic of whatever I have (or we have? Do other feel similarly?) that taking suggestions is difficult. It is strange because all my life I believed to be a rather open-minded individual, capable of learning and to admit my own limitations (not difficult when you have a 'voice' inside your head saying that you are a worthless piece of shit).
Are you saying you've tried a lot of suggestions?

The thing is with BPD is it's very hard to treat unless you do Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and actively practice the skills.
 
F

Francesco55

Member
Joined
Jul 3, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Edinburgh, Scotland
Are you saying you've tried a lot of suggestions?
The thing is with BPD is it's very hard to treat unless you do Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and actively practice the skills.
I am reading about Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) but I am rather skeptical. I have done meditation very seriously for several years, even planning to become a Buddhist monk, and I can tell you that yes, it helps but only for a short time. We must remember that Buddhist meditation is traditionally done by monks who live apart from communities and their troubles, not intended for people who after seating on a cushion for one or two hours a day are expected to go back into our usual, unnerving life. The proof is that monks are very far from being neurosys-free individuals. Actually, the level of rivalry, backstabbing and aggressivity that I witnessed in Buddhist monastery makes by comparison any modern corporation (I worked for several of them) look by peaceful, 'enlightened' environment.
Perhaps we should stop thinking that the problem is just something inside us and recognize that is the world in which we live that is rotten to the core and produces mental illness as a 'natural' reaction to its conditions.
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
1,277
Location
Tirana
I do meditation to calm my mind not to reach a state of Buddhist enlightenment. It has stopped all my anxiety attacks although I still get anxious due to adverse events. My depression spells are shorter. Yep I agree with what you say about Buddhists. They got just as many problems as anyone else in general.

Francesco have you honestly tried everything? I'm almost your age and admit I still have a lot to learn. I never dismiss a suggestion without first giving it a try.

I get the impression youve kinda given up which is a bit sad.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,597
I am reading about Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) but I am rather skeptical. I have done meditation very seriously for several years, even planning to become a Buddhist monk, and I can tell you that yes, it helps but only for a short time. We must remember that Buddhist meditation is traditionally done by monks who live apart from communities and their troubles, not intended for people who after seating on a cushion for one or two hours a day are expected to go back into our usual, unnerving life. The proof is that monks are very far from being neurosys-free individuals. Actually, the level of rivalry, backstabbing and aggressivity that I witnessed in Buddhist monastery makes by comparison any modern corporation (I worked for several of them) look by peaceful, 'enlightened' environment.
Perhaps we should stop thinking that the problem is just something inside us and recognize that is the world in which we live that is rotten to the core and produces mental illness as a 'natural' reaction to its conditions.
My understanding is that DBT encompasses quite a large variety of skills, not only meditation. It's proven to be effective (to some extent) with people that have BPD.

I think meditation can be useful on the level that you do get a chance to escape your way of thinking in a more healthy way than abusing substances or self harming, but I also understand that meditation is not exactly the thing that comes naturally to people when they are already in crisis, already at breaking-point, so it's useful I think to practice when not in crisis. I also get that some personality types won't really like practicing meditation or are not drawn to it or find it harder to get into then others. I think people need to find their own ways to calm themselves when they are already in a mood with some kind of energy, rather than already at breaking point. So what you do and learn and practice in your calmer moments can really make a difference.

Working in a modern coorperation sounds stressful as hell, in fact I have found most workplaces can be rather triggering with what goes on and I can see they are not exactly conducive to a relaxed mindstate and/or practising meditation. I think sometimes the kind of environments we put ourselves into can be really important.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
S Hello everyone. Not sure if I have health anxiety or something else Introduce Yourself 4
S Hello Everyone - New Member Here Introduce Yourself 5
B Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 8
C Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 4
L Hello everyone! Introduce Yourself 6
I Hello everyone, Im new here. Introduce Yourself 13
historygirl21 Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 7
A Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 3
N Hello Everyone Introduce Yourself 5
S Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 14
A Hello everyone :) Introduce Yourself 7
S Hello everyone, I am Samsara Introduce Yourself 12
L Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 7
ItsNotFair Hello everyone. Introduce Yourself 18
GenHuni Hello, Everyone Introduce Yourself 8
S Hello everyone I’m new here... Introduce Yourself 6
R Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 11
T Hello everyone, Introduce Yourself 5
Teardrop Hello Everyone... Introduce Yourself 17
S Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 5
T Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 5
O Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 7
YesterdaysTrash Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 4
S Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 7
H Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 4
M Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 6
D Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 4
R Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 10
M Hello everyone.. Introduce Yourself 7
Ficip1952 Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 9
T Hello everyone! Introduce Yourself 6
S Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 9
J Hello Everyone Introduce Yourself 7
K Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 12
Shanasan Hello Everyone Introduce Yourself 6
F Hello, Everyone! Introduce Yourself 11
U Hello everyone! Introduce Yourself 5
I .. hello everyone! Introduce Yourself 5
D Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 9
A Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 9
J Hello everyone. I overdosed. Feeling stupid now Introduce Yourself 27
N Hello everyone.! Introduce Yourself 13
K Hello Everyone! Introduce Yourself 10
M Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 3
B Hello everyone :) Introduce Yourself 7
L Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 6
T Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 5
iRRelevant Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 17
A Hello everyone Introduce Yourself 10
N Hello Everyone! Introduce Yourself 3

Similar threads

Top