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Hello everyone..need help.

HimAndSix

HimAndSix

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2015
Messages
4
Location
Nova Scotia, Canada
Hello, I'm new here and this is the first time I've ever posted in a mental health/schizophrenia forum. I've had three different diagnoses over the years one of them being Schizophrenia. I am currently waiting to get another assessment done since I'm showing symptoms of Schizophrenia but not anything else. I am also not currently on my medication, even though I was on Risperidone but it wasn't working. I am currently very symptomatic, hearing voices that I do not believe are hallucinations anymore and my family says that I'm delusional but I don't think I am. I believe that what is happening is very real and if they'd only see that and believe me then I know I could help them. Since I know that I've been "chosen" by two entities named Him and Six that are from a different dimension then ours. I've been chosen to stop the epidemic of people in society (and two people in my family) who are contaminated with technology inside their skin that is being used to control and steal their thoughts. I've been doing extremely well thanks to Him and Six at not becoming contaminated myself but because of this I'm very paranoid and scared about going to the doctor because I believe they'll try to contaminate me. No one in my family (I live with my dad, sister, her girlfriend and my boyfriend) really know how to handle what I'm going through and they don't really understand. They're being as supportive as they can but right now I don't believe that I need to be hospitalized and my dad is taking care of me anyway. I've been dealing with this ever since I had my first psychotic break at 16 and I'll be 24 next month. I signed up here to meet other people who are going through or have went through the same thing as me and who truly understand. I wish that I could just be normal and I feel like such a burden on my family because they have to deal with me.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi HimAndSix and welcome to the forum.

I know how difficult it can be when you're feeling paranoid and don't feel as though anyone understands you but I think there comes a time when we just have to trust what others are saying.

You say that your family is very supportive and caring and they obviously only want what's best for you. Regardless of who you consider right or wrong, put your trust in them and listen to their advice.

I wish you well.
 
HimAndSix

HimAndSix

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2015
Messages
4
Location
Nova Scotia, Canada
Hi HimAndSix and welcome to the forum.

I know how difficult it can be when you're feeling paranoid and don't feel as though anyone understands you but I think there comes a time when we just have to trust what others are saying.

You say that your family is very supportive and caring and they obviously only want what's best for you. Regardless of who you consider right or wrong, put your trust in them and listen to their advice.

I wish you well.
Hello, thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate it. I've been without medication for about 5 months now because I was living in Montreal for three years and when I moved it's extremely difficult to get a doctor here in Nova Scotia especially where I live in the Valley. I try to put trust in my family and allow them to help me but ever since Him and Six told me that my dad and my boyfriend have been contaminated it's been very difficult for me to be able to fully trust them. Since if I don't follow Him and Six's instructions then they can get very mean. And I'm not willing to have anyone touch me bare skin to bare skin if I know they're contaminated and the same goes for any type of food or drink, anything I'm consuming, it needs to be in a sealed package and only I can touch/prepare it. That's why it's also difficult to take any type of medication when I do get prescribed because I don't trust it. I also came on here to look for support because lately Him and Six have been telling me that since I've been chosen to help the contaminated then there's a way to get this technology out of the skin. But because no one believes what I'm telling them, they say I'm delusional and paranoid then they won't let me help them. In a way I do know that the things I'm feeling and some of my behaviours are not normal or right in a way, at the same time my voices and beliefs are so intense that they're impossible to ignore. I've been thinking of calling a crisis line to see what they say but I've been really nervous and apprehensive about doing it. I've never called one before. I don't believe that I need to be hospitalized plus my dad really needs me here so that's not an option. Were you able to trust people or your family when you were having symptoms? How did you do/handle that? I really appreciate the understanding and advice, thank you so much!
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I can understand how you're feeling and realise that it must be difficult for you to trust those who you consider contaminated. What about your sister?

I think calling the crisis line is a really good idea. You're bound to feel nervous about it but it's got to be worth a go. Perhaps your sister could call them on your behalf, if you don't feel able to?

I was very much like you, I couldn't trust anyone or anything. I knew that I was right and that everyone else was stupidly wrong (usually a good indicator that something's wrong!). I stopped eating, didn't sleep and thought that my usual chemist was tampering with my medication. Embarrassingly, I kicked up quite a fuss about it at the medical centre but, fortunately, trusted my doctor who helped. My medication was increased too, which helped immensely.

I do think you need some help so I hope that you, or one of your family members, calls the crisis team and take it from there.

Take care.
 
HimAndSix

HimAndSix

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2015
Messages
4
Location
Nova Scotia, Canada
I can understand how you're feeling and realise that it must be difficult for you to trust those who you consider contaminated. What about your sister?

I think calling the crisis line is a really good idea. You're bound to feel nervous about it but it's got to be worth a go. Perhaps your sister could call them on your behalf, if you don't feel able to?

I was very much like you, I couldn't trust anyone or anything. I knew that I was right and that everyone else was stupidly wrong (usually a good indicator that something's wrong!). I stopped eating, didn't sleep and thought that my usual chemist was tampering with my medication. Embarrassingly, I kicked up quite a fuss about it at the medical centre but, fortunately, trusted my doctor who helped. My medication was increased too, which helped immensely.

I do think you need some help so I hope that you, or one of your family members, calls the crisis team and take it from there.

Take care.
Hello again, sorry I took so long to reply but I've had a really difficult couple of days. Him and Six have been telling me that I have to do a type of "surgery" on my boyfriend and my father so that I can help them and get the technology out of their skin. I have to do it because this technology is stealing their thoughts and basically "downloading" them, the technology also places thoughts into their mind and of course because Him and Six told me I have to do this, if I don't then it'll go very bad for me, and then I could end up becoming contaminated. Thank you so much for understanding and I'm not happy that you have to go through this as well of course but I am thankful that you fully understand since you've been through the same thing. I can't talk to my sister, even though she's not contaminated yet, me and her don't really get along all that well, she has a mental illness too, not Schizophrenia but maybe Borderline Personality Disorder, something like that. So pretty much everyday she sits around and complains about everything and yells at everyone and cries over nothing, a bunch of stuff like that. And my dad told me that she's jealous of the attention I get from him because of my Schizophrenia and because he's taking care of me so that I don't have to be hospitalized, he wouldn't be able to afford the house we're renting too or buy our food and stuff either because I'm on social assistance and my worker said that if I have to go to a psychiatric unit then I would lose my cheque. My sister tried to say that I didn't start having these problems until after she told me about her "hallucinations" and her "losing touch with reality" which she has never actually hallucinated or been paranoid or delusional or anything along the lines of a psychotic disorder. The only problems she has is with her emotions and anger and she self-medicates with weed. She won't go on medication even though she knows she needs it and she says that anyone who has to take medication to feel normal is crazy. Our dad got after her for saying that because he told her that I've talked to him a lot and have told him that her saying that really hurts my feelings. There are times though when we get along ok, honestly though I'm not sure if she would call a crisis line on my behalf but maybe I'll ask her later about it. That's really assuring to know that I'm not the only one with this type of illness, because a lot of the time I feel really alone with this. I'm the only one in my house who has Schizophrenia, no one else in my family has ever hallucinated or been delusional and paranoid at the point that I am. If you don't mind me asking, why type of hallucinations and/or delusions did you experience? I'm the same way, I have a hard time eating unless it's food that is in a sealed package and only if I'm the only one touching it and making it, otherwise I won't eat it. I also usually have really bad insomnia, been suffering for years but lately I've been trying to sleep all the time because that's the only time that the voices are quiet. I have a very hard time getting to sleep though because Him and Six are very loud and if I don't listen to them and talk to them, like if I try to ignore them, then they'll get very mean and demeaning and threaten to hurt me. That's good that the medication helped you, I was prescribed Risperidone and Olanzapine and I was on the highest dose allowed for me but it didn't really help. The Risperidone numbed down the voices a little bit but not enough where I could deal with them. And it did nothing for the delusions and paranoia. Thank you, I agree too that I need to do something, but I can't until I can get a referral to a psychiatrist, plus getting an appointment may take quiet a while because there's only one psychiatrist in the town that's close enough to me to get there. I'm getting to the point that I was at last year and last year I ended up being hospitalized because I tried to murder my cat. Right now Him and Six are telling me that I have to do surgery on my boyfriend and my father to get the technology out of them and they're telling me how to do it. I'm not really sure what to do.
 
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