K
kenny
New member
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1
hello everyone
I'm in my early forties and I've had MH probs since I was 14
I first saw a doctor about them aged 20 when i was diagnosed with depression
MH probs run in my family
Over the years I have felt suicidal hundreds of times but I never had the courage to do it properly. I'm not afraid of death itself but the process of deliberatly taking my own life scares me in case it's painful or it went wrong. I believe to take one's own life you have to first override the survival instinct that has been hardwired into our brains over thousands of years of genetic evolution, (survival of the fittest an all that) - thats not an easy thing to do I have found
I've come to the conclusion that I lack the courage to do it properly but I do still think about doing it when I'm depressed, ( a lot ). Because of this often I feel as tho I am completely trapped into a life that I don't want to live but have no way out of other than to wait for it to end by natural causes.
Other times I don't feel like that at all
I guess i've had to learn to live with myself to an extent due to the lack of alternatives
I've been feeling quite depressed now for a couple of weeks now but I know it will come to an end eventually and I don't get it as bad as I used to.
I feel as those my MH probs have either moderated over the years or perhaps I just manage them better now - probably a bit of both if the truth was known
I definitely found life tougher when I was younger but now I try to take life a day at a time as best I can
I lost all hope of finding a "cure" years ago and I'm not even sure if one will ever exist. the only thing I can do is to try to make the most of now
I like that vodafone slogan I think it's really profound if you think about:
Make the most of Now!
Good luck everyone and thanks for reading
I'm in my early forties and I've had MH probs since I was 14
I first saw a doctor about them aged 20 when i was diagnosed with depression
MH probs run in my family
Over the years I have felt suicidal hundreds of times but I never had the courage to do it properly. I'm not afraid of death itself but the process of deliberatly taking my own life scares me in case it's painful or it went wrong. I believe to take one's own life you have to first override the survival instinct that has been hardwired into our brains over thousands of years of genetic evolution, (survival of the fittest an all that) - thats not an easy thing to do I have found
I've come to the conclusion that I lack the courage to do it properly but I do still think about doing it when I'm depressed, ( a lot ). Because of this often I feel as tho I am completely trapped into a life that I don't want to live but have no way out of other than to wait for it to end by natural causes.
Other times I don't feel like that at all
I guess i've had to learn to live with myself to an extent due to the lack of alternatives
I've been feeling quite depressed now for a couple of weeks now but I know it will come to an end eventually and I don't get it as bad as I used to.
I feel as those my MH probs have either moderated over the years or perhaps I just manage them better now - probably a bit of both if the truth was known
I definitely found life tougher when I was younger but now I try to take life a day at a time as best I can
I lost all hope of finding a "cure" years ago and I'm not even sure if one will ever exist. the only thing I can do is to try to make the most of now
I like that vodafone slogan I think it's really profound if you think about:
Make the most of Now!
Good luck everyone and thanks for reading
to the forum 
