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Hello everyone. I overdosed. Feeling stupid now

J

Jucky

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Bournemouth
Hi all,
I overdosed on medication two days ago. How did I get there? I don't know. I keep everything under control, usually. My intension wasn't to kill myself. I just wanted to ease my mind.
I'm not even on regular meds. I just got them when I was at my lowest point one year ago, but decided not to take them due to side effects.
My GP prescribed me Sertraline in two different doses and Tramadol - also in two doses. They were just hidden in a box, until Tuesday. I managed to call an ambulance, don't even remember how I opened the door for to let them in. They took care of me, ended up in hospital.
Now the thing is... I am feeling stupid. Why on Earth did I do it? I am feeling fortunate for what I've got, but still did it.
It was my first day off from work and suddenly it hit me. The only thing which keeps me in shape is the job. Otherwise I don't want to get up from bed, I struggled to have a shower or to eat. I came back to how I felt a year ago.
I went throughout therapy before, but obviously there is something in me, unresolved issue, which just came back.

It's nice to join this forum.

Take care to you all.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
38,988
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
welcome x hope you like it here mi have OD loads and i meant to hurt myself every time x don't feel stupid ,we care x
 
J

Jucky

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Bournemouth
Thank you for your response. I hope you are dealing with your issues. I'm not sure how it works here, where to move on. Just feeling so lost. I was ok, now I'm not. I can't be honest with my family as they have their own problems. My mum is very concern, but I can't put it on her. So I just said I was in pain and took to many painkillers by mistake.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,436
Location
United Kingdom
Welcome. Are you seeing a therapist now. If not I would recommend you see one. I see one twice a month and it has really helped. Some things I did not want to talk about so I did a time line for her which she was pleased about as I was being honest and open.
 
J

Jucky

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Bournemouth
Welcome. Are you seeing a therapist now. If not I would recommend you see one. I see one twice a month and it has really helped. Some things I did not want to talk about so I did a time line for her which she was pleased about as I was being honest and open.
I went through therapy a year ago and felt a bit better, however those sessions were regarding one certain issue at that time. I think I have more underlying problems. I phoned 3 different numbers searching for help, but eventually they were basically saying to try to exercise, eat healthy, like that's going to help.
I've been referred to someone in hospital, and will have an appointment in May, but I have a feeling they are going to talk this bullshit again about eating healthy, resting.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,436
Location
United Kingdom
Could you afford to go private. I hope they don’t tell you to eat healthy etc as it sounds as if you need talking therapy. I do wish you well though and hope you get the right help
 
J

Jucky

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Bournemouth
Could you afford to go private. I hope they don’t tell you to eat healthy etc as it sounds as if you need talking therapy. I do wish you well though and hope you get the right help
I don't think I can't afford it, it's so expensive. I just feel like everything is not taking it seriously. Even at hospital, I just talked about one problem and he said oh yes, that's why you are here. It's not true. There is way much more. I really hope that I'll get proper help after referral. I'm looking for help, but no one seems to take it seriously. I look alright ofc, earning money, being responsible, nobody really knows the truth.
I no longer have antidepressants as paramedics confiscated them all. I realised after coming back home. And the whole mess left behind.
Coming back home from hospital, with no shoes, made me feel like a complete looser.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,436
Location
United Kingdom
You are not a loser. No one is taking you seriously. Speak to your gp and if need be write things down
 
J

Jucky

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Bournemouth
You are not a loser. No one is taking you seriously. Speak to your gp and if need be write things down
Thanks for replying. I'll try to write things down. I have something in my head that I can go to GP with only one thing.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,436
Location
United Kingdom
No problem. I wrote my gp a letter to look at due to the vaccine as I am not having it and needed a go letter. She actually read it and gave me a letter for work. I would do a letter as then they have it on file and then you might get somewhere
 
T

tracyyewdale

Active member
Joined
Mar 24, 2020
Messages
33
Location
USA
Hi there. Welcome to the forum.

We all had our ups and downs, made huge mistakes along the way. But I think what's important is that we take accountability and move forward gracefully. That we are not going to make the same mistakes again.
 
J

Jucky

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Bournemouth
Hi there. Welcome to the forum.

We all had our ups and downs, made huge mistakes along the way. But I think what's important is that we take accountability and move forward gracefully. That we are not going to make the same mistakes again.
I get that, I understand what I did, but I don't own it. It's hard to explain. I am in the fog. Even on that day when it happened I wasn't thinking straight, but was sober and not on meds. My brain doesn't seem to function well. I don't trust myself anymore.
I'll be waiting for an appointment with a consultant /physiologist.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
19,423
Location
Nowhere
I remember feeling stupid for ending up in hospital

turned out I was able to help other people in there and have fun

:welcome: 🕯
 
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