Grieving my own death
- May 21, 2019
I just can’t take anymore of his abuse. He’s killing me, but couldn’t care less. He gave me a black eye the other day because I didn’t have the food he wanted when he walked in my door at midnight. The cabinets and frig were full of food, just not the specific food he wanted at that moment. I’m a prisoner in my own home. I’m broken and battered and beaten down. It never ends. I video tape his behavior because I’m afraid something will happen and no one will know what really happened unless I do. He slams my camera to the floor constantly. Trying to break it, has broken many cameras like this, destroys my property, my home, in rage filled out of control violent lashing out. The local police know him well. He’s been admitted to psychiatric hospitals 3 times in 3 years on 5150. He in intense outpatient therapy right now, but never takes the prescribed medication appropriately or as prescribed, sabotaging his doctors treatment plan. I don’t want to be forced to file a restraining order against him because he has no where else to go, but I’m dying more and more everyday from the chronic stress and hostile environment. It been affecting my own health so negatively, causing me to have suicidal ideations. I’m under treatment myself now for major depression. I’ve been his only parent, supporting him his whole life, but I cannot take this anymore.