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hello everybody

G

gurltwitches

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2009
Messages
5
hello. um. so, i'm new here obviously. this is not my first time on anxiety forums in general but it is my first time on this one. i use to visit one regularly a few years ago, and it helped me alot so i thought i would try again.

i've always been an anxious person. when i was little i had this huge fear of going to hell. i never thought i was good enough. sounds crazy coming from a six year old. i've also always had this huge fear of tornadoes. i have no idea what started it but i remember hiding in the hallway under a mattress, screaming for my family to get in there with me, during thunderstorms. just the testing of sirens would flip some sort of switch in me.

i am 21 now and still terribly afraid of storms. i live right in the middle of tornado alley too. i desperately want a shelther but we rent and can't afford to buy a house right now. it's too much money to put a shelter in somewhere we don't own.

i also have a huge fear of the end of the world which sounds silly but i'm very serious. i think most of my fears are things i can't control like the process of dying, nuclear war, global warming, faminine, being bombed, etc. i think about these things everyday, numerous times a day. i worry about things most people my age don't. i feel guilty for the smallest things and have mood swings alot which is hard on my husband. i get this mild depression on and off alot too.

i've lived with anxiety for a very long time. so, i'm use to it. it's like it's just who i am now. it's part of me. and i don't want to make it sound worse than it is, i'm much better than i use to be.

i was offically diagnosied with GAD and panic attacks at 15. i've been on numerous medications but side effects always cause problems. i have a very sensative system, i guess.

anyways, i've never had counseling but i'm starting it next week. hopefully i can at least get rid of these obsessive thoughts and storm anxiety. we'll see.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
We can often carry our childhood fears over into adulthood. I was talking about this to a GP friend recently. You have the fear as an adult but experience it through the eyes of the child you were.

My sister also had a fear of the end of the world. Hers was nuclear war - this was in the 80s when the threat was quite real. She knew all the details of what would happen if you were x miles away when the bomb dropped - everything. I asked her once why she'd stopped being afraid and it was the answer you've already given - that she had no control. It can make us afraid and it can make us well.

I use mindfulness which is a form of meditation and that has a good way of clearing the mind and letting us concentrate on the present. You can get free podcasts from iTunes if you have access to it.

Good luck with the counselling.
 
C

CSK001

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2009
Messages
1
Thanks

Hi,
Thank you very much for giving me an opportunity to introduce myself. I'm CSK from New York City. I enjoy interacting with people around the globe, trough internet. Please keep updating me.

CSK
 
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