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Hello Everybody (Depression, Pure-OCD, Past Mistakes)

P

pneuma93

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
3
Location
United States
I joined this forum after searching "mental health forum"

I (28M) suffer from depression and ruminating over my past behaviors and misconduct. Although they are memories and mistakes from 10 years ago, about 3 months ago I fell into this vicious circle of suddenly remembering them and beating myself up for it. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself because I feel unworthy or undeserving. These are not mistakes or behaviors I currently engage in, in fact I'm currently far from what I was, very, very far. Some days are better than others but the thoughts stick the most when I am tired. These taboo mistakes are either long forgotten or unrealized by those it involved and believe me when I say that reaching out to them would cause more harm and confusion than anything. So seeking external forgiveness is not the right move, but I do know that I need to forgive myself, find my sense of worth, and let go of over-analyzing and ruminating over my past.

I hope to find some peace through your support. I've spent my whole life being a self-relient person but this time I need help. I've been reading self-help books like Ekhart Tolles and they do help to some degree, but the days I'm tired and sleep deprived, no amount of reassurance can put my mind to rest. So yes, I need help.

I'm also trying to practice compassion and am more than willing to help and be an ear for anyone on here. No matter what your issue is or what you feel or have done, I'm here to listen with no judgement.

Thank you and hope the best for all of you.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
8,067
Location
England
Hello pneuma93, welcome to the forum.
 
L

Littlevoice89

Former member
Joined
Aug 6, 2021
Messages
129
Location
U.K.
:welcome:
It’s so great you can admit to needing help, we all need help sometimes.

I listen to Eckhart Tolle on YouTube and podcast sometimes, I find his talks relaxing and comforting.

Remember to have compassion for yourself as well as for others 🤗
 
K

Keesha

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
4,665
Location
N/A
I joined this forum after searching "mental health forum"

I (28M) suffer from depression and ruminating over my past behaviors and misconduct. Although they are memories and mistakes from 10 years ago, about 3 months ago I fell into this vicious circle of suddenly remembering them and beating myself up for it. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself because I feel unworthy or undeserving. These are not mistakes or behaviors I currently engage in, in fact I'm currently far from what I was, very, very far. Some days are better than others but the thoughts stick the most when I am tired. These taboo mistakes are either long forgotten or unrealized by those it involved and believe me when I say that reaching out to them would cause more harm and confusion than anything. So seeking external forgiveness is not the right move, but I do know that I need to forgive myself, find my sense of worth, and let go of over-analyzing and ruminating over my past.

I hope to find some peace through your support. I've spent my whole life being a self-relient person but this time I need help. I've been reading self-help books like Ekhart Tolles and they do help to some degree, but the days I'm tired and sleep deprived, no amount of reassurance can put my mind to rest. So yes, I need help.

I'm also trying to practice compassion and am more than willing to help and be an ear for anyone on here. No matter what your issue is or what you feel or have done, I'm here to listen with no judgement.

Thank you and hope the best for all of you.
Hi there and welcome to the group
I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t. All I can say is that I also suffer from ruminating. I’ll be fine if I’m super busy but once I’ve got too much time to think, I play over all the stuff that I’ve done or someone’s told me I’ve done and feel bad about it. I’m fully aware that I do it so have to distract myself in doing something which requires thinking.

It can be haunting at times. I’m hoping through cognitive behaviour therapy and the right medication, that it can be helped some.

Some of the things that help me is realizing that they are just thoughts and thoughts can be changed.

Realizing that I’m not my thoughts.

Coming to terms that I can, with time & effort, change the way I think.

I hope you find the help and comfort you are seeking.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
Hi pneuma93, welcome to the forum I am sure you will find many members here who can relate to you and give help and advice.
 
S

star shine

Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Forget you
I joined this forum after searching "mental health forum"

I (28M) suffer from depression and ruminating over my past behaviors and misconduct. Although they are memories and mistakes from 10 years ago, about 3 months ago I fell into this vicious circle of suddenly remembering them and beating myself up for it. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself because I feel unworthy or undeserving. These are not mistakes or behaviors I currently engage in, in fact I'm currently far from what I was, very, very far. Some days are better than others but the thoughts stick the most when I am tired. These taboo mistakes are either long forgotten or unrealized by those it involved and believe me when I say that reaching out to them would cause more harm and confusion than anything. So seeking external forgiveness is not the right move, but I do know that I need to forgive myself, find my sense of worth, and let go of over-analyzing and ruminating over my past.

I hope to find some peace through your support. I've spent my whole life being a self-relient person but this time I need help. I've been reading self-help books like Ekhart Tolles and they do help to some degree, but the days I'm tired and sleep deprived, no amount of reassurance can put my mind to rest. So yes, I need help.

I'm also trying to practice compassion and am more than willing to help and be an ear for anyone on here. No matter what your issue is or what you feel or have done, I'm here to listen with no judgement.

Thank you and hope the best for all of you.
Oh, Honey. It's hard to know what to say. That was a lot to wade through.
Right now, just breathe.
there is no one who can tell you just what to do.
Except breathe. there is nothing more important for you. I love you.
 
M

Miss no more lost

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
45
Location
North west England
I joined this forum after searching "mental health forum"

I (28M) suffer from depression and ruminating over my past behaviors and misconduct. Although they are memories and mistakes from 10 years ago, about 3 months ago I fell into this vicious circle of suddenly remembering them and beating myself up for it. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself because I feel unworthy or undeserving. These are not mistakes or behaviors I currently engage in, in fact I'm currently far from what I was, very, very far. Some days are better than others but the thoughts stick the most when I am tired. These taboo mistakes are either long forgotten or unrealized by those it involved and believe me when I say that reaching out to them would cause more harm and confusion than anything. So seeking external forgiveness is not the right move, but I do know that I need to forgive myself, find my sense of worth, and let go of over-analyzing and ruminating over my past.

I hope to find some peace through your support. I've spent my whole life being a self-relient person but this time I need help. I've been reading self-help books like Ekhart Tolles and they do help to some degree, but the days I'm tired and sleep deprived, no amount of reassurance can put my mind to rest. So yes, I need help.

I'm also trying to practice compassion and am more than willing to help and be an ear for anyone on here. No matter what your issue is or what you feel or have done, I'm here to listen with no judgement.

Thank you and hope the best for all of you.
You have had an awful time of it….you need a massive hug and somebody to tell you it will be great and you are going to be fabulous!! I hope we can help each other in our struggling…bless you lovely you have had enough for your and others life time! Hang in there things will get better! :) xx
 

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