• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hello, everone

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DitRichard

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Jan 7, 2021
Messages
20
Location
Southampton
I self-diagnosed (dangerous, I know) Avoidant Personality Disorder by reading a lot of books on psychology and articles on the internet. I also used an online self-test as follows:

Test
Your Score: Strong Indication of Avoidant Personality Disorder
Your answers suggest a strong indication that you are experiencing symptoms common among people with avoidant personality disorder.

I am not young and it took me a while to arrive at this disorder. I suspected various other things until I arrived at AvPD. Anyway, I came here in the hope that I can discuss the disorder with others who feel the same.

I was a professional person for many years, but gave this up for something more mundane, in order to remove the stress element. Despite my age, I struggle in relationships with women - big time! I've probably survived this long because I have a sense of humour and like cats - apparently stroking them lowers my heart rate!

I look forward to meeting any similar 'sufferers' here, if there are any!
 
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Peacedreamer4

Active member
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Jan 2, 2021
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London
Hi, Dit Richard ironically I struggle with relationships with men trying to work on it though. Interesting you said you worked in the field were you a psychologist?
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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Dec 9, 2020
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1,588
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Canada
u better find and read this article i wrote on this site

 
irwin

irwin

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Colorado, USA
I also suffer from Avoidant Personality Disorder and pretty severe social anxiety. It's all the result of low self-esteem, which is the root cause of most of my problems.
 
Talina

Talina

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Hi DitRichard and welcome to the forum :welcome:

I understand your struggles a little but I don’t have avpd. Even though my psychiatrist always refer me as an avoidant person. I’m struggling with social anxiety which makes me an avoidant person to nearly all social interactions, even towards my friends and family. So it can be hard to handle.

I’m glad you have joined the forum and I hope you will enjoy it here.
 
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DitRichard

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Messages
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Southampton
Hi, Dit Richard ironically I struggle with relationships with men trying to work on it though. Interesting you said you worked in the field were you a psychologist?
Thank you for the welcome Peacedreamer4. My only training in psychology is educational psychology as a teacher and that was just a part of my training. I am not a psychologist, although I wish I had full psychology training! I did have psychotherapy (cognitive therapy), over thirty years ago, with a psychologist. Knowing what I know now, I can put that in context and it is ongoing, although at the time it was a bit confusing. Good luck in your struggle with men!
 
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DitRichard

Member
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Jan 7, 2021
Messages
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Location
Southampton
u better find and read this article i wrote on this site

Thank you for directing me to your article, OmniscientNihilist. I am aware of, and agree with, most of these points. However, point 10 'it (learned behaviour?) can be re-programmed' has the ring of feasibility in theory, but in practice can be problematic. My low self-esteem is debilitating and I understand the source in part, but not entirely. I feel I need to get to grips with the origins first.
 
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DitRichard

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Jan 7, 2021
Messages
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Location
Southampton
I also suffer from Avoidant Personality Disorder and pretty severe social anxiety. It's all the result of low self-esteem, which is the root cause of most of my problems.
AvPD includes social anxiety and low self-esteem. Both apply to me. Other symptoms for me are self-isolation, inhibition, and focusing on criticism and rejection.
 
D

DitRichard

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
20
Location
Southampton
Hi DitRichard and welcome to the forum :welcome:

I understand your struggles a little but I don’t have avpd. Even though my psychiatrist always refer me as an avoidant person. I’m struggling with social anxiety which makes me an avoidant person to nearly all social interactions, even towards my friends and family. So it can be hard to handle.

I’m glad you have joined the forum and I hope you will enjoy it here.
I appreciate the warmth of your welcome, Talina. My social anxiety means I am uncomfortable in groups, like you even with friends and family, and being the centre of attention - an obvious problem as a teacher (tied in with confronting my fears).
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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Hi DitRichard welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
Talina

Talina

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I appreciate the warmth of your welcome, Talina. My social anxiety means I am uncomfortable in groups, like you even with friends and family, and being the centre of attention - an obvious problem as a teacher (tied in with confronting my fears).
So you are a teacher that must be really hard to handle. I tried teaching but it wasn’t for me and the anxiety caused too much physical problems for me. I hope by learning and understanding yourself better might give you a step towards on how to handle it.

It can be good trying to seek professional help. There are a few treatments/therapies that can make it a little easier to handle.
 
D

DitRichard

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Southampton
I am not a teacher anymore, Talina. I gave it up to work part-time in a much simpler job. You could train a monkey to do my job now! When I go home, I can leave the job behind me, which I couldn't do as a teacher. I'm no longer on show in the same way and do not have to work so closely as part of a team. I also have very little influence or responsibility.
 
Talina

Talina

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I am not a teacher anymore, Talina. I gave it up to work part-time in a much simpler job. You could train a monkey to do my job now! When I go home, I can leave the job behind me, which I couldn't do as a teacher. I'm no longer on show in the same way and do not have to work so closely as part of a team. I also have very little influence or responsibility.
Aha, that’s quite nice being able to leave the work at the end of the day. Do you miss working in a team? Or you enjoy the new work more.

I know I like working with people more even though I have social anxiety but my anxiety isn’t as bad as before. I don’t like to have a lot of responsibility but I think it’s because I have a really low self-esteem I will just doubt myself and my decisions. The downside that I’m always doubting myself.
 
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