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Hello, ,another newbie here!

S

seekingsense

Guest
Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I've had depression for (what I now realize) has been many years. Life has always had explanations for my depression and so I thought it was just a natural thing that everyone goes through. Last year I had a major breakdown and ended up having 2 stays on a mental ward after trying to end my life. I'm trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of my head and my heart, and I'm starting to realize that due to my extreme moods and erratic behaviour that I may have bipolar or a personality disorder (psych team are aware and assessing).
I have a fantastic family and brilliant friends but I am never quite able to feel happy. This last year guilt over my past behaviour has eaten away at me...I know nothing can change the past but the feeling of shame and guilt is one I feel the most. I am struggling to accept myself for who I am, everything feels like its fake...I even think that people on here might not be real etc (sound delusional?), and I fail to trust anyone because of it. Im trying to just 'live life' and be happy...I try to be grateful for the people around me and the things that I have but something is never quite right and I feel so selfish and stupid for being this way.
Anyway, I hope to listen to others stories and become part of a community that understands what this is like. So....Hi.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hi and :welcome:

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles.
I'm glad you found us.
People will understand here,

The forum has helped me a lot to find out more about depression and anxiety.
Like you I thought things that happened over the years where a natural thing everyone goes through :) I worked through it all. Then had a melt down 2 years ago.
Changed my life.

I wish you all the best, hope you find the forum useful, I'm sure you will.

Unique xx
 
Shelter_Skelter

Shelter_Skelter

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2016
Messages
185
Location
Scotland
Welcome seekingsense :) Hope you find the help you deserve. Take care.
 
M

misssadness

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Aug 3, 2015
Messages
1,995
Hello seekingsense and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear of all you have been going through.:hug:
 
O

onlyinred

Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
21
Hey Seeking ^^

welcome to the forums.

It sounds like you've been having a tough time. Sending good vibes your way.

p.s because of the tons of people on here- with different stories and outlooks and personalities- I found it easier to find those voices that resonate with how I'm feeling at any given time. (plus the fact that everyone is so supportive helps allot to).

pm me if you want. hugs
 
C

Crazy Lady In Stanton

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
1,534
Location
Stanton, CA
:welcome: Seeking, I'm glad you are here, though I'm sorry you have had such a hard time. You say you feel ashamed of the things you did in the past. Is it the suicide attempt you feel ashamed of? If it is, you should know that feeling suicidal is common in people who suffer either physical or mental illness. Those feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. You just need time to heal. I hope you feel better soon.
 
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