• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Hello and could you direct me.

B

Benjamin

New member
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
3
Hi Folks,

I'm not experiencing any difficulties myself, I'm here because I'm terribly worried about a colleague and friend, and someone who, until recently, I had become romantically involved with.

We're both professionals and work with extremely vulnerable people, although I have to stress that despite working closely with this person I've never had any cause for concern regarding their work or professionalism.

Apart from their work though I'm extremely concerned. To briefly outline what's happening; they're making claims and statements which are obviously untrue, some very serious some very minor, but it is constant. They seem to have had some sort of crisis about two weeks ago when they claimed to have been violently attacked in their home. Without wanting to go into too much detail, this also is not true and they did not sustain the injuries they claim to have done. They did however sustain some injuries, but it is likely that these were accidental. Their claims are also becoming more fantastical and bizarre. I have ended our relationship in the romantic sense, and this hasn't been well received, but I'm very fond of them still and very, very worried.

That's it in brief, can someone direct me to the appropriate forum to discuss this more fully.

Thank you for reading.
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hello and :welcome:

It sounds like a difficult situation, and I'm sorry you and your colleague are going through it.

I'm not sure what to suggest, really, because, if you speak to HR, then you might inadvertently jeopardise your ex's career. Also, if you go to her yourself, it might be ill-received, because of your romantic history. I was thinking you could confide in another colleague to talk to your ex about their behaviour at work, but that causes another problem, in that this other colleague might then cause this information to spread further than anybody wants.

It's a difficult situation, but, if your ex is in close contact with their superiors, surely they've noticed something by now, and they might be encouraging them to seek professional help?

I'm not sure what your course of action would be, but please try not to feel responsible. I know you want to help, but you might not be in the position to do so?
 
katya

katya

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Dec 4, 2013
Messages
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Location
England
I'd try to talk to them if you can. :)
 
B

Benjamin

New member
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
3
Thank you for your reply. I could try talking to them again. Over the last few weeks I've tried speaking to them gently and then bluntly. Although all our co-workers can see what's going on, and there is talk, she will just deny it.

It would appear to be my only option though.

Thanks again.
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Thank you for your reply. I could try talking to them again. Over the last few weeks I've tried speaking to them gently and then bluntly. Although all our co-workers can see what's going on, and there is talk, she will just deny it.

It would appear to be my only option though.

Thanks again.
Don't feel responsible for what's happened. It's out of your hands in many ways.
 
B

Benjamin

New member
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
3
It is but I wouldn't feel right if I just let it go. You do feel responsible though, even if you know it isn't down to you.

Cheers again.
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
It is but I wouldn't feel right if I just let it go. You do feel responsible though, even if you know it isn't down to you.

Cheers again.
Oh of course; it'd be strange if you didn't care. :hug1:
 
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