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Hello All

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EchoEclipse

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Ohio
Hi, I wasn’t sure if I was going to post but I’m feeling so alone now. I have no friends. I recently moved and hoped some people would try to stay in touch but everyone who said they would haven’t. I’m not really surprised because I never felt a true friendship with anyone and havent been able to connect with anyone in probably over a decade. I sit by myself pretty much everyday. I don’t know how to make friends and I feel like I’m dying Slowly, agonizingly, and no one notices or cares. I’ve felt this wa so long and had such high hopes for the first time when I moved. Now I just have more time to sit alone and think about how bad a friend I am, how no one except my dogs would care if I wasn’t around, how useless I am. I have many other health problems so I cant even work. I just don’t know what to do. The few people in my life have no idea im feeling this way and I do t know how to let them. I’m so afraid of letting anyone know how depressed I am that I couldn’t even tell my therapist how sad I am. It’s like my mind was screaming and yet my face smiled and said pretty things. I just needed to let someone know how broken I feel even if it is anonymou. Thank you kindly for taking the time to read this.
 
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Mikey666

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2021
Messages
77
Location
.
Hi, I wasn’t sure if I was going to post but I’m feeling so alone now. I have no friends. I recently moved and hoped some people would try to stay in touch but everyone who said they would haven’t. I’m not really surprised because I never felt a true friendship with anyone and havent been able to connect with anyone in probably over a decade. I sit by myself pretty much everyday. I don’t know how to make friends and I feel like I’m dying Slowly, agonizingly, and no one notices or cares. I’ve felt this wa so long and had such high hopes for the first time when I moved. Now I just have more time to sit alone and think about how bad a friend I am, how no one except my dogs would care if I wasn’t around, how useless I am. I have many other health problems so I cant even work. I just don’t know what to do. The few people in my life have no idea im feeling this way and I do t know how to let them. I’m so afraid of letting anyone know how depressed I am that I couldn’t even tell my therapist how sad I am. It’s like my mind was screaming and yet my face smiled and said pretty things. I just needed to let someone know how broken I feel even if it is anonymou. Thank you kindly for taking the time to read this.

Hi EchoEclipse. I know how painful feeling alone is. Just because you struggle to connect with people does not mean you are a bad friend. I don't have friends. I find it difficult to connect as well. Even if I do manage, being able to maintain friendships is nearly impossible.

It sounds like you go on auto pilot when around others like your therapist. Smiling and giving an outward appearance of being okay. Have you thought about discussing that with your therapist? Say something like "here's the thing, I wear a mask to the outside world. I hide how I really feel because I am scared, but inside I am screaming and struggling so bad." It isn't easy to share how you really feel, but the more the therapist understands you the easier it will get hopefully. You can only do it when you are ready, but it would be good for you to get the support you need from a specialist.

I hope sharing on the forum will be a good outlet for you 🙂
 
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EchoEclipse

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Ohio
Hi EchoEclipse. I know how painful feeling alone is. Just because you struggle to connect with people does not mean you are a bad friend. I don't have friends. I find it difficult to connect as well. Even if I do manage, being able to maintain friendships is nearly impossible.

It sounds like you go on auto pilot when around others like your therapist. Smiling and giving an outward appearance of being okay. Have you thought about discussing that with your therapist? Say something like "here's the thing, I wear a mask to the outside world. I hide how I really feel because I am scared, but inside I am screaming and struggling so bad." It isn't easy to share how you really feel, but the more the therapist understands you the easier it will get hopefully. You can only do it when you are ready, but it would be good for you to get the support you need from a specialist.

I hope sharing on the forum will be a good outlet for you 🙂

Hi Mikey

Thank you for sharing that you also have a hard tim connecting with people.

I plan to tell my therapist every single time, but nothing but a mask and lies come out. I feel like I have no control over the facade 😔
 
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Tombomb

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
4,112
Why do appearances make me feel bad at say the beach ? U walking around looking at people while they make me feel undervalued? Why do I feel that way ? I know sounds weak but at times it’s all I see ??
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,980
Location
US
Hey, @EchoEclipse, welcome to the forum and it just broke my heart to read this. I'm so sorry you're going through such a lonely time. So many of us can relate to loneliness.

Have you considered trying to write your feelings down? It can not only help make it clear in your own mind how you're feeling, you can give it to your therapist or email it to him or her to take the pressure off of the initial conversation. It sounds like it's gotten to a point where it's really imperative that you let someone know.

Coming here was a great first step, and people here are really supportive and get it. But it sounds like you really need that extra help that we all need from time to time. Moving is a huge change and stressor in itself. Can I ask if you feel safe? Just kind of worried about you from the post. Keep reaching out here. It helps. (but also your therapist?) xx
 
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