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Hello 👋

T

tabitha65

Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2016
Messages
5
I’m finding myself feeling anxious and down lately. I’ve always been a pretty anxious person. Saw multiple counsellors throughout my 20s and was always told it was ‘just anxiety’. I went private a few years ago and actually got diagnosed with OCD. I had some treatment and was doing incredibly well, and really felt like I finally understood it!

And then covid happened! I’m a paramedic and have worked (and continue to work) through the pandemic. There hasn’t been a particular patient or moment that is making me feel like this and I’m finding it extremely hard to navigate and articulate my feelings.

I lost my grandad to covid a few days before Christmas 2020. I visited daily in PPE, thinking I could deal with it how I’d been dealing with it at work. It’s very different when it is your own loved one. I had some “counselling” after his death which was a complete waste of time. Seeing him slowly die and struggle to breathe was extremely difficult, and I find it hard to be around covid-deniers and anti-vaxers. This is the first time I’ve had to properly grieve really.

I don’t feel valued in my job at all, which is definitely not helping. Throughout the lockdowns, I was working solely with unqualified members of staff who couldn’t drive, meaning I was the senior clinician and driving for 60 hours in a week. I honestly can’t put into words how it makes me feel - just utterly undervalued and unappreciated.

I’m not really sure where I was going with this but it’s nice to get it out and type it down.

:)
 
R

Rosie2005

Active member
Joined
Sep 19, 2021
Messages
26
Location
Uk
Hello. Just want to say as a fellow health care worker I have the greatest respect for paramedics
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
6,951
Location
A comet
Hello tabitha65, welcome to the forum.
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
5,774
Location
Planet POSITIVE
Hello tabitha65, welcome to the forum I hope you can find help and advice off the members here as everyone is so caring.
Total Respect to you for being a paramedic.
 
Novastars

Novastars

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
719
Location
Scotland
Wow, tabitha65, that's a lot of responsibility you're carrying on your shoulders, on top of the pain of your granddad passing away and your OCD. I don't know how you do it all and have so much respect for you. I hope that you can let off some steam here and I know that you will find supportive people on this forum. :welcome:
 
T

tabitha65

Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2016
Messages
5
Thanks for everyone’s replies!
I feel like everything has all of sudden hit me and my feelings have just exploded 🙈😂
 
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