- Sep 17, 2021
I’m Emma, I’m 25years old.. I have been struggling really badly with mental illnesses. I have tried going to therapy, yesterday was my second session. It still doesn’t make a difference. I just feel like there’s no point in being around anymore, I have family around me but I don’t have no one calling me or texting me or even coming to my home, I’m always on my own.. I am even struggling with working because I injured myself from working in a factory years ago and it’s gotten worse so now I’m not even working at the moment and I feel like that makes it worse, cause now I’ve fuck all money.. I have never been on the website if I’m honest I typed in I don’t want to be here anymore and it came up, and as I read what others had to say it made me feel like I’m not alone. Even though I am if that makes sense. I wish I could be at peace and not have any of these problems!!! I have struggled with depression and anxiety for so many years I feel like it’s a never ending thing!!! When I think of not being here (dead) I can actually feel my inner peace, and everything lifting, like I’m free from everything I’m going threw am feel from all the mental illnesses. I have tried antidepressants and they just made me feel 10 times worse.. I am supposed to be on anxiety tablets but they make me feel so numb, and feel nothing. I just want to feel normal and not have this shit holding me back in my life anymore. I’m exhausted, I just want to have a meaning in life, I would love to start a family, and have my dream job, being a photographer.. but it’s my mentality holding me back from doing it. It feels like I’m in a cage and I can’t get out of it. I have no friends I feel like I don’t even have my family considering they don’t bother with me anyway so it wouldn’t make a difference if I’m dead or alive.. I have tried to killed myself but it’s unfortunate that it didn’t let me go peacefully and let me go..